Dear Lover of my Soul,

I'm writing to let you know that I'm still glad that I prayed for you to draw me in closer to you...to really truly become the lover of my soul. I know that for us to really cherish you more we must endure hardships and processes to refine us like gold. Father, I want to thank you for this heartbreak. I want you to know that the pain of this 11 year on and off relationship is so real. I haven't felt this pain since those terrible nights in Korea when my fiance' left me, but you didn't leave me did you Jesus. Nope, I turned my back on you and silently there you sat waiting for me to come back. How hard it must have been for you as I lie there broken and weeping on the bed. Yearning for someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. You were there, did it break your heart to have me yearn that when all you wanted to do was hold me and tell me everything will be alright?

I know the pain is just as real for you this time too isn't it Lord? Its different this time isn't it? This time, I see you here with me, I can feel your arms around me right now as I lay here on the couch...its almost as if my cushions have disappeared and you're behind me allowing me to rest upon your chest. Whispering that everything will be alright, that I'll see. I feel you wipe away each tear as it falls, reminding me that when I finally get to heaven there will be no more pain, no more tears, and I'm comforted. I lay my head back and allow you to hold me in your arms this time. This time will be different...this time IS different. This time I asked you for this, and this time, as I wait for whats to come, I'll worship you, I'll praise you, I'll thank you, and I'll walk with you. For with you I can face tomorrow, with you I have HOPE. I see the sun shining, I know your smiling as I type this, as you fill me with your spirit of Hope...together we'll walk this heartbroken narrow path, and together I'll fall deeper in love with you, the Lover of my soul.

SO PROUD!!!!! of me :-)

Tonight I got to spend a much needed girls day/night with one of my best girls Kadie! We ended up at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, YUM!! So I was very tempted with all of their num-yuminess, but after a small slice of bread, I remembered that on the biggest loser Jillian & Bob said not to even touch those types of baskets when they are put on the table, so I stopped after the one! Then I went on to order the "Weight Management Chicken" which was DELICIOUS!! The menu said that it was under 590 calories...I'm so proud of myself...well then I was naughty and had a slice of banana cream cheesecake but man, it was good and I didn't feel guilty eating it after doing SO well on my meal! Oh and I drank a glass of water with a lemon wedge (one of my favorites!!) I'm just so proud of myself for stepping out of my norm and trying the healthy meal and I was so not disappointed, it was so good, it was two small chicken breasts topped with tomatos and argula salad, with a small side of steamed rice and steamed asparagus. WOW! SO GOOD! If you're ever there I dare you to try it, you won't be disappointed!

one step forward

I took another step this weekend. I went to my orientation at the gym, I was so scared that it'd be embarrassing.

Here's this heavy girl getting shown all of this equipment...that same girl that once lost over 40lbs in 6 months, joined the Army, came back looking phenomenal...then gained it all and more back. I'm ebarrassed when I walk in the gym, I have to give myself a peptalk as I enter..."people will see and think, thata girl, make the change in your life!" And I'm greeted with warmness, with welcoming smiles, and kindness. I got a hello from a girl I know from school. How nice it was to be greeted by her...she'll never know the struggle that was goin on in my mind when she said hello, and how much her simple hello helped me.

So I learned how to properly use all of the equipment, which was SO cool! And then, I got onto the treadmill, despite my sore legs from trying all of the equipment. So I walked at a 2.5, for 5 minutes, then I made myself run...at a 5.0, for 5 minutes, and I hurt so badly that I had to walk, so then I walked at a 3.5 for 5 minutes and then did a 5 minute cool down. All-in-all I worked out for 1.5 hours...it was awesome, the run was the best. I know it was only 5 minutes, but its a start...and when I have my ipod I can focus myself better. My next step is to run for 10 minutes...I dont care the pace right now I just want to run for 10 minutes. Once I can work myself up to running 25 minutes non-stop then I'll start pushing my pace...can't wait for spring, I really wanna run outside, I hate hitting the treadmill...but thats what I get for now, so here we go...

I'm saving my life...one step at a time

So pardon the pun of the title, but its exactly what I'm doing. I realized this week what exactly to the tee had brought my weight gain back on...and yet it made me want to eat more...so with tears streaming down my face I called the most wonderful woman God could have ever placed in my life. I told her I was taking the first step in saving my own life...I was calling her instead of eating the junk food in my apartment.

That was on Tuesday, today I took step two. Today I drove to the Genoa Fitness Center and signed up for a membership. I also got information for The Great Genoa Meltdown...its a 12 week Genoa version of The Biggest Loser. I'm so excited. I called my mini-me to see if she'd be interested, and she is. I know a co-worker who might be as well too!! I'm a very competitive person, and I'm driven to win...but more so its about saving my life, its about not becoming one of those people who has to be screamed at by Jillian (oh how I'd love that...it so motivates me!), its about not having heartburn anymore, its about being able to run around and wrestle with Jackson and Addison and not get winded after 5 minutes, its about showing my class how to make healthy choices, its about showing myself and my class that you can do anything you put your mind to, and most importantly its about me finding the strength to love myself as Jesus, my Lord and Savior, loves me.

So I'm taking the steps to save my life...won't you take this walk with me?

WELCOME HOME!!!!!

Two more of my boys returned from the war! Justin is back in the states again with his family! and my cousin Russell is also out of harms way, but he is still stationed overseas in Okinawa, Japan and so he will be staying up on the prayer chain. Sadly, I was mistaken in thinking that Jake was home for good when he was home on his R&R, so he is back up on the prayer list as he is back in Afghanistan now.

Just a forewarning that I'm fine...despite all the ponderings and discussions on death this evening :-)

So, these last few days this winter weather has really gotten me thinking on how dangerous it really is to drive in. Yesterday I was petrified to go to school I was almost in tears, talking with Jeff. So I asked for prayer, and sure enough as I was heading to schoo-l a snow plow/salt truck pulled out in front of me right outside of Genoa and led my way plowing and dropping salt all the way to school. How awesome is God??!! Well He again proved His awesomeness (as if he needs to) when today I'm driving to Dekalb and the car in front of me tapped their breaks on which forced me to tap mine as well. Which then threw me into a fishtail and a few doughnuts and by God's grace I didn't hit anyone or anything.

So yesterday I told my sister-in-law that if anything were to ever happen to me,I would want her to care for the one I love, it reminded me of a conversation I had with my brother while I was stationed in Korea...that if I were ever to become in a state where someone would have to choose to pull the plug on me, I asked that he be the one to make the decision...because I know that John & Kandy would pull together, and they would use God's strength to get them through the days. I worry about my other loved ones, how they would take it, etc etc...

And then today I thought of what would happen if I'd lose Jeff, Jackson, Addison, John, Kandy, Mom, Dad...my list goes on and on. How would I hold up...how would I put one foot in front of the other? All I know is that God would give me a way so long as I continue to follow His path.

Theres not really a point to this post...just a peak into my thoughts the last few days.

If anything were to ever happen to me, my readers, look after my loved ones, encourage them to keep going, remind eachother how much I loved you, life, Christ. Hold eachother up when you're struggling, and keep pressing on, You'll know that I'm with Christ.

Ok, ok enough of that...like I was trying to forewarn you I'm not depressed I'm not considering suicide...just some thoughts that came through my head, and then I told the ones I love that I loved them...and thats that.

Genoa yet again celebrates a son returned!

JAKE HAS ARRIVED BACK HOME SAFE AND SOUND!!!! WELCOME HOME BUDDY!! THANKYOU FOR FIGHTING FOR US. THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Thank-you for the Cross, my friend!

Today I'm thankful for the cross (as always) but in particular a small plastic gold colored one that hung around the neck of one of my 4 year olds. Some mornings when the kids are still tired when I get there we will all sit together in circle time and slowly wake up. Today was one of those days. One of my little boys, whom I'll just say isn't known for always being on his best behavior was laying down on the rug next to two of my other boys who are known just as he is. Well my one little boy mentioned first had on this little plastic cross around his neck. It intrigued me, I never in a million years would have pegged him for being a child to wear a cross, yet it made me smile...little did I know! He proceeded to roll onto his side facing the two other boys and said..."Did you know God died on the cross!?!" and thats all that was said on the matter. I smiled, knowing today was going to be a VERY blessed day, and indeed it was.

How awesome that here I struggle day to day to be Christ's light to my children, and today...one of them was His light for me. Praise God for this little plastic necklace that would open my eyes to see that Christ IS making an impact on these children's lives, and I get the honor to bare witness to it. I'm humbled beyond all comprehension.



What are you thankful for?

Holy Moly a whole week!?!? woops!!

Monday November 16:
I'm thankful for friends and laughs in class, and a boyfriend who appreciated the warm apple pie that I brought him!

Tuesday November 17:
I'm thankful for a small group that encourages, laughs, cheers on, hugs, and prays for one another!

Wednesday November 18:
I'm thankful for rest. I was so exhausted that I completely passed out on the couch for a VERY refreshing 40 minute nap!

Thursday November 19:
I'm thankful for a night on the couch with Zekers!!

Friday November 20:
I'm thankful for a very fun evening with mom!! We had a lot of fun after she won a turkey before I got to her...trying to win some bacon...no such luck! But we shared dinner and shared some very meaningful conversations!

Saturday November 21:
I'm thankful for joyful occasions spent with friends I don't get to hang out with very often! Jeff and I both had an amazing time at my friend Aimee's wedding! I got to sit with my friends Mackenzie & her husband Dan along with my friend Amy & her husband Jason. It was alot of fun! I even got out on the dance floor and danced a little bit!

Sunday November 22:
I'm thankful for Jesus. But not just Jesus, today I'm thankful for His birth. For the miracle that we get to celebrate each and every year!! Christmas tree lots are setting up, and this year, I'm out to get my very first Christmas Tree on my own...with the help of John & his truck :-D I'm VERY excited to have a real tree up in my apartment to help celebrate Jesus' birth! Thank-you Jesus!

So there you have, my week...in a nutshell...
What are you thankful for?

Zeke stop barking!

haha I couldn't think of a blog title and well, my dog thinks he owns main street and is barking like crazy at the moment...whats new?!

Thursday November 12:

Today I'm thankful for friendships that stand the tests of life. I was able after work to rush to a friend's side and spend some time processing a challenge life has thrown her way tonight. Ice cream and hugs were the prescription of the day!

Friday November 13:

Today I'm thankful for deep and loving conversations with two women who mean the world to me! Wow what a blessing! One of the talks showed me that God continues to mold and transform me!! I used to be very impatient when it came to talking about my faith and trying to get someone else to believe...but this time I was very patient and open and listened genuinely to what she had to say and came back respectfully with my reply. What a GREAT evening!!

Saturday November 14:

Today I'm thankful for the man that God has blessed me with. Jeff went all out for my birthday celebration. I had an amazing time celebrating and just having fun with him and a few of his friends! What a fun evening! Jeff is so patient with me, bless his heart...I'm not an easy person to deal with all the time and he takes it in stride and will crack jokes to help me lighten up. Hes so different from me yet we complement eachother so well! Thank you Father for such an amazing man!



Sunday November 15:

Today I'm thankful for the nice relaxing days where I have nothing on the agenda. That I can have movie marathons and do dishes and watch zeke run around with his newest toy. So relaxing and rejuevenating to prepare for the week ahead!

What are you thankful for?

Praising God

Tuesday November 10:

Wow what a blessed day!! My 26th birthday was AAAAMAZING! Praise God for such amazing people in my life and the love that they shower me with!! I'm so thankful for everyone in my life right now who helped make my birthday special!

Wednesday November 11:

Today I'm thankful for our Veterans and the chance I had to serve. "Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you; Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul; the other for your freedom." Thankyou to all of our Veterans, our servicemembers, and their families!

Thinkin it over...

Today I'm thankful for answered prayers. I asked for prayer to be more bold in sharing my faith out loud, and boy was I bold this evening in class. I was sharing pictures of my shredded tire and the story of what happend and as I walked back to my bench a guy said to me, "you sure are lucky!" I beamed back at home "No way, it wasn't luck...I'm loved, it was all God...only God could do something like that."

I then turned around and finished the two steps back to my bench...when I realized I had shouted that across the classroom. LOL boy, when I asked for boldness God sure didn't delay, I'm happy to see He's using my loud boisterousness (is that even a word?! lol) to spread His good news, His love and His protection that only HE can provide!

I praise you God!! THANK-YOU for answered prayers!!!

What are you thankful for today?

Catching up on Thankfulness

November 3rd: I was very thankful for my brother who was willing to stop around 10pm and change my flat tire...also thankful for a God who saves and protects. He surely took great care of me that evening when things could have turned out a WHOLE LOT worse for me and my car! Praise and Glory to God!!

November 4th: I was very thankful for a sister who was willing to take me and help me in getting a rental car.

November 5th: I was thankful for friends whose relationships withstand the test of times and trials. Everyday I'm so thankful to be back at the daycare surrounded by such amazing women!

November 6th: I was thankful for a fixed car...and rims that didn't get bent in the whole mess of my car episode on the 3rd...yes it cost a VERY pretty penny to get new tires, and for a rental, and an alignment but it could have been so very much worse!!

November 7th: I'm thankful for lunch and time spent with family whom I adore! What a blast it was to happen upon a "Marine Corps Birthday Party" ... the Marine Corps and I share a birthday!

November 8th: I'm thankful for the giggles and the laughter and the pure excitement I get from Jackson and Addison. I love them more than I've ever loved before and it just fills me with even more love every time I hear and see them giggling and laughing with me!

Praise God for such a roller coaster week...its times like those that it reminds me that I'm alive, and that I'm saved by a God who loves me deeper than I will EVER comprehend. What a great and AWESOME GOD!

What are you thankful for?

Giving Thanks

My longterm readers will remember if you think back, that last year I attempted to do a daily thanks as we counted down to Thanksgiving. I'm bringing it back again this year!!

Sunday, November 1st: I'm thankful for a day of rest, and relaxationg as I prepare for my busy week ahead.

Monday, November 2nd: I'm thankful for smiles. Today the daycare was filled with smiles (which isn't out of the norm.) aside from the fact that for a few short hours in the big room, we were trying our hardest to coax great big smiles out of our precious little ones...today was picture day. I got the honor as I was giving my co-workers breaks to help out back there with the infants and with a few of my 4 year olds. How precious it was to help out behind the photographer calling their names and smiling and these little ones hoping for a smile in return...and I was successful...even with one of our brand new babies (we had 3 that started today!) Afterwards the photographer turned over his shoulder and said with a huge smile, "thank-you" it meant the world to me to see these beautiful youngsters responding to me and also to help relieve some of the stress for the photographer and my co-workers...I just love my job!! Thank-you, God, for the gift of smiles. What a marvelous yet simple creation!

What are you thankful for today?

A reminder for prayer...

I want to take this time, as November is beginning, to take a moment to remind my readers to pray for our men and women who are overseas. I have multiple friends and some family who are currently at war. Some are holding up ok, and some if not all are really missing home. Anyone whose ever been away from home for an extended amount of time can empathize with the feeling of being away from home and making the best of your situation but at the same time longing for home. Now try to imagine that feeling while you're half way across the world, fighting in a war...the same war that a number of American's outright oppose...they've forgotten about our men and women over there.



PLEASE DONT FORGET ABOUT THEM...THEY ARE STILL THERE, THEY ARE STILL ENSURING YOUR FREEDOM...PRAY FOR THEM! THEY NEED OUR SUPPORT, OUR LOVE, OUR ENCOURAGEMENT ESPECIALLY AS THE HOLIDAYS ARE SNEAKING UP ON US AGAIN!

That's MY King...I wonder if YOU know him?

What its like to be a born-again Christian

Got this in an email, thought it was adorable!!

A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"

The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin."
God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the
dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all
the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside
of you to shine for all the world to see."

--Author unknown

I really enjoy...

I crave the show from week to week...its like a sick addiction, but is it really? for the first time in years I'm finding myself truly motivated...not just from that movie, but I recently saw a picture of myself and I was and still am truly sick to my stomach over how large my body is now. I long to go back to the days when my face was skinny and I was proud of my appearance...I know I put on this weight because of unhappiness, I'd eat and eat to supress my feelings as I struggled through a few different battles...but none of those excuses stand up anymore...

I look at those contestants and I'm not only crying for them, I'm crying because I know I'm headed that way if I don't do something about it now. I'm crying because for some of them this show was a last ditch effort to save their life. I never want to get to that point. EVER.

Anxiety mounts as my emotional rollercoaster weekend begins

I'm sitting here in my lazy boy listening to the rain, waiting...waiting for a phone call from my baptizing pastor to discuss my brief testimony I will be giving on Sunday...my emotional high day...the rain seems to trump my mood today, today my heart is broken...tomorrow I fear the pieces will shatter right out of my chest. Tomorrows is Matthew Martinek's funeral. My first military funeral of a fellow brother-in-arms who fell at the price of freedom.

I'm proud of this young man I never knew. I'm proud of his service, I'm proud of his brother who is continuing his choice to return to the service. I'm proud of this great country that I served. Yet the rain falling reminds me that today and tomorrow are hard days for that family. I can't imagine the pain they must feel, the burden they carry, watching mourners pay their respects to their son, their brother, their cousin, their uncle, their best friend, their battle buddy. My heart aches for all of the families that have had to endure this process, that so patriotically sent their child to harms way praying and hoping to never get the call that this family did. I pray for my Soldiers every day...praying that they will come home safely, yet I know the price of freedom is sometimes the price of a life laid down for us. I ask that you as my reader would stop and just take a moment to pray for all of the mourning families, for the families that are on pins and needles until their servicemember comes home, and even for the ones who have their loved one home for right now.


Sunday as you may have guessed, I will be baptized at my church. Some of you may know me and may think, "But you were baptized as an infant..." Its different at Harvest...and I agree with their way of thinking towards baptism. Its a way for a person to publicly proclaim that they are a follower of Jesus Christ. The baptism step comes after the choice of and prayer for salvation. I will be sharing a brief glimpse of my story, in front of 1000+ worshippers. It brought me alot of comfort when during worship either last week or the week before the song leader encouraged those afraid to step up to the microphone to share scripture that we as a congregation aren't there to judge, that we are a family...in that I find comfort. I'm also extremely excited and have been praying for this day since the day that I decided to be baptized. I'm praying that those that hear my story will be stirred up, changed, or even just smile remembering their baptism.

Hows your weekend?!

Our Community Mourns...

A Soldier from my community was killed in the line of battle. I wasn't fortunate enough to know this brave soul, but I do know his brother, another brave Warrior for our Country. My heart goes out to their family...



"DeKALB – A 20-year-old U.S. Army soldier from DeKalb County has died of injuries he suffered in Afghanistan in a bomb attack on his vehicle.

Pfc. Matthew M. Martinek died Friday, Sept. 11, at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, of wounds he suffered Sept. 4 in the Paktika province of Afghanistan, according to the U.S. Department of Defense. Martinek's vehicle was attacked with an improvised explosive device, followed by grenade and small-arms fire, the Defense Department said in a written statement.

He was among six soldiers that day who were joined by their lieutenant in trying to secure their vehicle after the initial attack, according to a written statement from the U.S. Army Alaska, where Martinek was deployed. Then the group was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade and small arms fire.

Also killed was 2nd Lt. Darryn Andrews, of Dallas, Texas. The other Soldiers were wounded, said the statement.

A paratrooper supporting Operation Enduring Freedom, Martinek joined the Army in March 2008. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team (Airborne), 25th Infantry Division, based in Fort Richardson, Ala. He was deployed to Afghanistan in March 2009, said Maj. Bill Coppernoll, public affairs officer for the U.S. Army Alaska.

The Army lists Martinek as being from DeKalb, but he attended Genoa-Kingston schools from kindergarten through his freshman year of high school, Schools Superintendent Scott Wakeley said Monday. He graduated from Bartlett High School in 2007, according to his profile on Facebook, a social networking Web site. The site identifies his hometown as Genoa.

Clayton Greenlee, 20, also of Genoa, reminisced Monday about playing little league baseball with Martinek. The two were friends in grade school and kept in touch after Martinek moved to Bartlett. Greenlee said Martinek moved back to the DeKalb area after high school and worked at a tire store in Sycamore.

"Even when he moved away, he still kept in contact with me and our other friends," Greenlee said Monday during a phone interview. "He was a great person."

He described Martinek as someone with a good heart who made time for his friends and family. His hobbies included many outdoor activities, like camping, biking and riding all-terrain vehicles.

"He always made sure that you were in a good mood and if you were sad or distressed he tried to help in any way he could," Greenlee said. "He will be missed dearly by all of his friends."

As of Sept. 11, there had been 23 soldier deaths this year in U.S. Army Alaska, Coppernoll said.

Martinek is at least the fourth servicemen of DeKalb County who has died and whose family members have been notified. Before him were 1st Lt. Brian D. Slavenas, 30, of Genoa, who was in the Illinois National Guard, Pvt. Christopher M. Alcozer, 25, of DeKalb, who was in the U.S. Army, and Illinois National Guard Spc. Ashley Sietsema."

This article was taken from: http://www.daily-chronicle.com/articles/2009/09/14/41634766/index.xml

Theres so much rejoicing happening in my heart right now...

When I get permission to let you all know what has happened I surely will...just know its been something really tugging at my heart for the last few months and I'm praising God today that it has HAPPENED!! THANK YOU JESUS THAT YOU WOULD CALL US YOUR OWN!!!

And again our hometown celebrates...

Another one of my Hometown Heros has returned home...He actually came home on Thursday...We are so proud of you Chris! WELCOME HOME BUDDY!!

A testimony through Tragedy

It's been nearly a year since my life took a re-direction...but thats not where my story starts. I'd like to share a good chunk of my testimony with you.

I grew up in the Methodist Church, mom did her best to make sure my brother and I were in church every week. I was baptized at 1 in the same church here in town that my parents were married in, almost all of my aunts and uncles were married in too, I was confirmed there too. Anyway, I didn't know anything about salvation until I was in my first year of college at Judson. It was there that I walked down to my RA's room, knocked on her door, and sat and prayed the sinner's prayer with her, giving my life to Christ. I spent a year there, and then I moved to Portland Oregon, there I quickly found a church and a small group. I really enjoyed it and the people I became friends with became my light at the end of the tunnel. As I cared for my Grandfather I struggled alot emotionally, I wasn't happy. So at the end of my year I came back home. I got involved with the wrong crowd then, I got into drugs, and abused alcohol (I wasn't 21 yet), all of the wrong choices, I made them. It all came to a screeching hault one May day when I was busted by the Police for drinking under age and doing drugs. God had a plan for me, and some how the only thing to go onto my permanent record was the alcohol. I did my probation time, paid my fees, and stayed away from drugs and alcohol completely. I didn't drink again til after my 21st birthday and even then it was sporadic, but I'd get completely wasted. It was a year later that I felt like I was completely burnt out from teaching and unsatisfied with my weight that I decided to join the Army. I made more poor choices while working with the recruiter. I lost the weight, and left for basic training. Life was great in training, I loved it. I met a man whom I respected and adored while in training, and then quickly fell in love. When I got sent to Korea I was hopeless feeling but within weeks he and I had begun to plan our engagement. It was during this time that my bad choices with the recruiter resurfaced and I was faced with a hard decision. I chose the wrong choice and I got caught for it too, as a result I lost my fiancee', the respect of my superiors, and not only hated myself but also lost all confidence in myself. (I still have a hard time trusting myself since then, through the grace of God, my confidence in myself is growing.) I spent days on end in bed, weeping. I wouldn't eat, I'd just cry and sleep. Finally, I was challenged in a suicide prevention training class to go out of my way to do something nice for myself...so I went out and bought myself two baby turtles that I had been wanting to do for months. Those turtles became my best friends, I'd talk to them, love on them, watch them grow. They needed me to care for them, I needed them to keep on going.

Fastforward to my transition to Georgia, I'd been there for roughly a year when it was time for me to go through my medical board evaluation on whether or not I'd stay in the military. It all came down to a discussion I had with a very high ranking doctor and I, in his office. I was so intimidated, I knew the question was coming...But up until these months of the whole medical board evaluation process, I hadn't really been talking to God. I knew the words to speak to "fool" people into thinking I was turning to Christ, and I spoke them. I was trying to be a good person, but really, I was fooling all of us. But now I had begun praying. My supervisor had told me that it would come down to a question, did I want to stay or did I want to go. I was so torn...I loved the Army and my job. I was good at my job and I knew that I was. I loved what the Army stood for and what I was doing for my nation. On the other hand I was facing physical pain, daily. I missed my family so much it hurt, and I felt my heart break when I came home for Christmas and my nephew cried when I tried to come near him...he didn't know who I was. So here I was, sitting in front of this doctor, and finally the question comes out...do you want to stay in or do you want to go home. I remember looking at him like I had no idea what I wanted to do. I remember feeling like I was literally sitting on a fence sideways, to my right was staying in the army, to my left was going home. I wanted to stay on the fence and have someone else push me one way or the other. So, I closed my eyes and I prayed. I asked God to help me choose, and before my prayer was over, my sweet nephew's face flashed into my brain, my heart was screaming for Jackson. So I blurted out the words before I could even stop them. "I'd like to go home." And it was done, the papers were started and soon I'd be on my way home. Months followed as I waited for my chance to go home. My nephew's first birthday was quickly approaching and I was scared more and more that I'd miss his big day and my cousin's graduation from highschool. It just so happened, my papers were delivered to me the day of my nephew's first birthday...the next day, I was on my way home. I drove 15 hours in one day, I was so excited I couldn't even contain myself. I got to surprise my cousin during her graduation party, and the following day I was sitting holding my nephew at his first birthday party!

Three months later, I'd learn devastating news of an accident involving my nephew. Anyone who knows me knows, what happened next and I can spare you the details of that. The best way to describe the whole terrible accident is to quote the scripture we worked on memorizing today in church.

Psalm 25:3 "No one whose hope is in You, will EVER be put to shame."

God wouldn't allow John and Kandy to be put to shame and He proved that last January. During those five months my emotions were all over the page. I was selfish, I was rude, I again lost a fiancee' do to my not being right with Lord I believe it didn't work out. Yet, towards the end I regularly attended church with John and Kandy, so that they could have the time with Jackson...and so Jackson could be in church. Little did I know, that God was using all of this time to call me Home, among other amazing things I'm still praising God for. I would watch John and Kandy through the whole ordeal at how much hope they would have that Christ would redeem them and bring their son home. There was one afternoon that I was supposed to leave for a trip at the beginning of it all, Yet I knew my leaving at that point would keep John and Kandy from seeing Jackson. It came down to an all out screaming match. I was so upset that I didn't want to go, I didn't want to hold them from their son. And yet it was Kandy who finally convinced me that I needed to go. That I needed to trust God to provide the correct paperwork to allow them to see him. And it was Kandy who notified me that evening that the paperwork had gone through and they had gotten to see Jackson. After Jackson returned home for good, I continued going to church with them as I felt like it was where I was supposed to be. Around three months later they would do an altar call, and I would find myself humbled before the Lord, on my knees sobbing at the foot of the altar. A lovely woman came and prayed with me and held me as I sobbed. I haven't been the same since. The Lord continues in his mercy to show me ways that I need to continue to grow and better myself to bring more glory to Him.

As my family approaches tomorrow, if any of them read this I challenge you to face it with your head held high. For our hope is in Christ and NO ONE whose hope is in him will EVER be put to shame. If we ever need a reminder of the truth in that verse we need look no further than to the two people I am so blessed and honored to walk beside in this journey of faith. Its the same two people who are cheering me on towards my baptism, and in my walk with Christ, and its the same two people that I call my brother and sister. I love you guys, walk boldly into tomorrow, we know that Christ holds it. Don't worry about today or tomorrow...we will face whatever walks into our lives with the bold strength that you demonstrated to me...through one of the hardest trials I've ever watched anyone endure. I'm honored to know you. I'm praying for the prince of peace to reign in us all, and I'm asking my readers to do the same, as I know this one year mark will bring up some insecurities and fears and struggles out of all of us that may surface during this time.

Fall is coming...

My most favorite season of the year is quickly approaching!! The kids went back to school yesterday, and I am starting to feel the crispness is slowly starting to come in. I love fall! I get to wear a hoodie and jeans comfortably, then theres the football, and the pumpkins, and then theres Thanksgiving and my birthday too! How exciting! The leaves fall off the trees and the outside slowly starts to turn brown and die. Its all so exciting to me that in the anticipation of winter when most everything is dead and waiting. It reminds me of how the disciples must have felt when Jesus died. Did it feel like a long season, those three days before Jesus rose, did they drag on and on in their mourning?? I wonder if it felt what our winter feels like to us, as if the days drag on and on and never ends.

I say bring on the fall...I'm ready to pull out my hoodies!!

Ed Freeman

I received a disturbing email that led me to believe that Michael Jackson's death in the media shadowed over the death of a Medal of Honor recipient. So I chose to check it out on Snopes.com. What I found is that his story was true, however the date of his death and the fact that Michael Jackson's media attention was overshadowing it was false. I hope you'll take the time to read the story of this amazing man who stood up for our country and those who served along side him...

The story of a helicopter pilot, Major Ed Freeman, who flew his unarmed Huey into to the battle zone during the Viet Nam War multiple times to supply troops and evacuate wounded personnel after the MediVac helicopters were ordered to stop evacuations. This act of courage earned Major Freeman the Flying Cross and decades later, the Congressional Medal of Honor.


The Truth:
The story of U.S. Army Veteran Ed Freeman is true.

He was a veteran not only of Viet Nam, but of World War II and Korea.

He was the recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor for his actions on November 14, 1965, at Landing Zone X-Ray, in the Ia Drang Valley of Vietnam.

During the Vietnam War Freeman served as a helicopter pilot with the rank of Captain in US Army's Company A, 229th, Assault Helicopter Battalion, First Cavalry Division Air Mobil.

On November 14th, 1965, a US battalion was surrounded by the enemy. In the heat of the battle when all hope was lost, an unarmed helicopter came to their aid, bringing water, much needed supplies and ammunition.

According to survivors of the battle the unarmed Huey returned more than 21 times with supplies, evacuating the wounded each trip. That day, more than 70 soldiers were flown to safety by Captain Freeman.

Freeman was decorated with the distinguished Flying Cross for his act of bravery but for decades those who survived this battle felt that a higher honor should be awarded to the helicopter pilot. On July 16, 2001, Congress awarded the Medal of Honor to Freeman with the persuasion of Lieutenant Colonel Bruce Crandall, other survivors who were rescued by Freeman, and Senator John McCain. That day, Freeman and his wife, Barbara, were invited to the Whitehouse where President George W. Bush presented the Congressional Medal of honor before witnesses consisting of Vice President Cheney, the secretary of defense, secretary of veterans affairs, the joint chiefs as well as members of the Joint Chiefs, Senator John McCain, Senator Craig, Congressman Otter, and Congressman Simpson from the delegation of Idaho.

On August 20, 2008, Major Ed Freeman passed away from complications of Parkinson's disease at the age of 80 and was laid to rest at the Veterans Cemetery in Idaho, where he settled.

In March of 2009, the United States Congress bestowed one more honor to Major Freeman. They designated the US Post Office in his place of birth McLain, Mississippi, the "Major Ed W. Freeman Post Office."


(http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/e/ed-freeman.htm)

Bush Presents Congressional Medal of Honor
Aired July 16, 2001 - 09:35 ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: We want to the take you now to Washington, to the East Room of the White House. President Bush has just entered the room, and they are now in the midst of the prayer opening the ceremonies where in moments we are going to be witnessing President Bush confirming upon a helicopter pilot from the Vietnam War era the medal of honor, the highest nation's honor.

(JOINED IN PROGRESS)

GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Good morning, and welcome to the White House.

Today for the first time I will present the Medal of Honor. It's a unique privilege to present the nation's highest military distinction to Ed Freeman of Boise, Idaho. This moment is well deserved, and it's been long in coming.

Our White House military unit is accustomed to a lot of great events, but I can assure you they started this day with a great sense of anticipation. After all, they know how rare this kind of gathering is and what it means: To be in the presence of one who has won the Medal of Honor is a privilege; to be in the room with a group of over 50 is a moment none of us will ever forget.

We're in the presence of more than 50 of the bravest men who've ever worn the uniform and I want to welcome you all to the White House.

(APPLAUSE)

It's an honor as well to welcome Barbara, a name I kind of like, Ed's wife, along with his family members and members of his unit from Vietnam.

As well, I want to welcome the vice president, the secretary of defense, secretary of veterans affairs, the joint chiefs as well as members of the Joint Chiefs.

I want to welcome Senator McCain. I want to welcome Senator Craig, Congressman Otter, Congressman Simpson from the delegation of Idaho. And I want to welcome you all.

It was in this house, in this office upstairs, that Abraham Lincoln signed into law the bills establishing the Medal of Honor. By a custom that began with Theodore Roosevelt, the Medal of Honor is to be presented by the president. That duty came to Harry S. Truman more than 70 times. He often said that he'd rather wear the medal than to be the commander in chief. Some of you might have heard him say that.

(LAUGHTER)

Perhaps you were also here on May 2, 1963 when John F. Kennedy welcomed 240 recipients of the Medal of Honor.

BUSH: By all rights, another president from Texas should have had the honor of conferring this medal. It was in the second year of Lynden Johnson's presidency that Army Captain Ed Freeman did something that the men of the 7th Calvary have never forgotten. Years passed, even decades, but the memory of what happened on November 14, 1965 has always stayed with them.

For his actions that day, Captain Freeman was awarded the distinguished Flying Cross, but the men who were there, including the commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Bruce Crandall, felt a still higher honor was called for. Through the unremitting efforts of Lieutenant Colonel Crandall and many others and the persuasive weight from Senator John McCain, the story now comes to its rightful conclusion.

That story began with a battalion surrounded by the enemy in one of Vietnam's fiercest battles. The survivors remember the desperate fear of almost certain death. They remember gunfire that one witness described as the most intense he had ever seen, and they remember the sight of an unarmed helicopter coming to their aid. The man with the controls flew through the gunfire not once, not 10 times, but at least 21 times. That single helicopter brought the water, ammunition and supplies that saved many lives on the ground, and the same pilot flew more than 70 wounded soldiers to safety.

In a moment, we will hear the full citation in all its heroic detail. General Eisenhower once observed that when you hear a Medal of Honor citation, you practically assume that the man in question didn't make it out alive. In fact, about 1 in 6 never did, and the other five, men just like you all here, probably didn't expect to.

Citations are also written in the most simple of language, needing no embellishment or techniques of rhetoric. They record places and names and events that describe themselves. The medal itself bears only one word and needs only one, valor.

As a boy of 13, Ed Freeman saw thousands of men on maneuvers pass by his home in Mississippi. He decided then and there that he would be a soldier. A lifetime later the Congress has now decided that he's even more than a soldier because he did more than his duty. He served his country and his comrades to the fullest, rising above and beyond anything the Army or the nation could have ever asked.

It's been some years now, since he left the service and was last saluted.

BUSH: But from this day, wherever he goes, by military tradition, Ed Freeman will merit a salute from any enlisted personnel or officer of rank. Commander Seevers, I'll now ask you to read this citation of the newest member of the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, and it'll be my honor to give him his first salute.

COMMANDER GEORGE SEEVERS: Ladies and gentlemen, please remain seated for the reading of the citation and the presentation of the medal. The president of the United States of America, authorized by act of Congress, March 3, 1863 has awarded in the name of the Congress the medal of honor to Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, distinguished himself by numerous acts of conspicuous gallantry and extraordinary intrepidity on 14 November, 1965, while serving with Company A, 229th, Assault Helicopter Battalion, First Cavalry Division Air Mobil (ph).

As a flight leader and second in command of a 16-helicopter lift unit, he supported a heavily engaged American infantry battalion at landing zone X-ray in the Idrang Valley, Republic of Vietnam. The infantry unit was almost out of ammunition, after taking some of the heaviest casualties of the war, fighting off a relentless attack from a highly motivated, heavily armed enemy force.

When the infantry commander closed the helicopter landing zone, due to intense direct enemy fire, Captain Freeman risked his own life by flying his unarmed helicopter through a gauntlet of enemy fire, time after time, delivering critically needed ammunition, water and medical supplies to the Paceeds (ph) battalion.

His flights had a direct impact on the battle's outcome by providing the engaged units with timely supplies of ammunition critical to their survival without which they would almost surely have experienced a much greater loss of life. After medical evacuation helicopters refused to fly into the area, due to intense enemy fire, Captain Freeman flew 14 separate rescue missions, providing life- saving evacuation of an estimates 30 seriously wounded soldiers, some of whom would not have survived, had he not acted.

All flights were made into a small emergency landing zone within 100 to 200 meters of the defensive perimeter where heavily committed units were perilously holding off the attacking elements. Captain Freeman's selfless acts of great valor, extraordinary perseverance and intrepidity were far above and beyond the call of duty or mission and set a superb example of leadership and courage for all of his peers.

SEEVERS: Captain Freeman's extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit and the United States Army.

(http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0107/16/se.02.html)

A need to fix my face...

So tonight at dinner I came across a moment when I literally had to tell myself I was alright and I needed to fix my face. What fixing my face means is even when something isn't going just right I still need to not rain on everyone else's parade with a scowl on my face. So I was sitting out for pizza with my family holding my sprite minding my own business when it slipped out of my hand and landed with a thud (thank goodness still upright) on the table. Everything would be fine and dandy except that was the second time that had happened to me today. I was holding a bottle of lemon juice earlier putting a few drops into my glass of water when I dropped the bottle of lemon juice. The first incident with the lemon juice I chalked up to pure clumsiness...but then tonight it really started to get to me. So I walked over to my grandmother who knows alot about the bodily functions, especially what seems to be happening with me and asked her if it could be linked to my neck. I knew it could because its the same hand that always goes numb when I hold my arms a certain way. Anyway, I'm really saddened/frustrated by it. I'm too young to be going through all of this. But for what-ever reason I am...I have my first physical therapy appointment on the 10th of August. So for now I will chart when I drop things or have the weakness in my arm as I do tonight, and will talk to the physical therapist about it then. I'm praying this is only temporary.

There are two families celebrating today...

Two of my Hometown Heroes Prayer List boys are in the United States!!! WELCOME HOME WILL & BRAD!!!!!

Nothing screams summertime to me more than...

Lightning bugs...yup thats right lightning bugs. I think its so cute that I still get that little flash of excitement as I see them flickering around outside as I did when I was little chasing them in my grandmother's yard putting them into little jars! I still get excited as I see my first ones of the season too! But, did you know that they are actually beneficial to us?!? check this out:

"Whether you know them as Lightning Bugs or Fireflies, these are beneficial insects. They don't bite, they have no pincers, they don't attack, they don't carry disease, they are not poisonous, they don't even fly very fast. The larvae of most species are specialized predators and feed on other insect larvae, snails and slugs. (They are also reported to feed on earthworms.) Adults of some species are also predatory. Adults of some species are reported as not feeding.

These wonderful beetles are also helping humans. The Lightning Bug contains luciferin and luciferase, two rare chemicals used in research on cancer, multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis and heart disease." (http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/Galveston/beneficials/beneficial-40_lightning_bug.htm)

Too cool!! Its such a beautiful sight to me. I just came in from walking Zeke and I saw a few lightning bugs as we walked, it was almost like each one that I saw was begging me to lift my eyes and look around at the majesty and beauty that God created that I am so surrounded with. And just as I did that, Zeke and I turned the corner of our block and I got to see what I call the "Butterfly Garden" as I always see the sign that says that in the garden on the corner. Its a wild garden with lots of very tall plants (?) maybe weeds, but I doubt it, they are beautiful none the less...and it looked even prettier thaan I've seen it yet this year. I owe it to the the lil bugs. I wouldn't of taken the time to notice the beauty as I always do everytime I walk Zeke around our block...but tonight God wanted a slow down. I think in the rush of getting extra hours this week and the hurry typical week pulled me away from my slow dance with my Father. I'd like to thank my little lightning bug friends for lighting the path for my intimate dance.

I praise God for the bugs tonight!

I call you All That!

Pastor Jeff mentioned a song and had a small bit of it played in worship today, it peaked my interest so tonight I did a youtube search for the song...what an awesome worship is song that it is!! Check it out!!

Proper respect to the flag!

I went out with my family today, and the place that we went to had the American flag on display...however, it was hung wrong, that is the most disrespectful thing you can do to an American flag, so I want everyone to know the proper way to fly the flag, especially as the 4th of July is approaching!

"When the flag is displayed in a manner other than by being flown from a staff, it should be displayed flat, whether indoors or out. When displayed either horizontally or vertically against a wall, the union should be uppermost and to the flag's own right, that is, to the observer's left. When displayed in a window it should be displayed in the same way, that is with the union or blue field to the left of the observer in the street. When festoons, rosettes or drapings are desired, bunting of blue, white and red should be used, but never the flag." (http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagetiq.html)

So there you have it, the stars should always be on the flags top left, no matter which way it is hung. Here are a few pictures of how it should properly be hung.

Time to be honest...with myself and all of you.

Being a young single, christian, no I'm not going to use christian...I don't like, no I hate how modern day "christians" have taken the meaning of the word and twisted and mangled it into believing in Christ but not living as you do...no let me start over.

Being a young, single, Saved woman in 2009 is hard. I wonder if its always been that way. I bet it has. Being single has to be a struggle. Everything revolves around being in love, finding your soulmate, your partner for life. As a woman in my mid-20's (I shutter at the thought, I'm in my mid-20's,) the friends I went to school with all have families of their own in one form or another. I'm the only one without a boyfriend or a husband. I'm choked up. I can't even write about my heartache in a truthful manner.

No, no matter how hard it is its time that I put it out there so that I can begin the steps to fixating my heart on where it needs to be. My heart physically aches for the man that God made to fit next to me. I'm doing ok in a matter of thinking of the one I've thought all along that was "him," not being him. I miss his friendship but I'm ok with the distance. God wants more for my marriage relationship. He wants more for my life. And yet I soooo struggle I struggle daily with wondering when my time will come. I've seen it happen time and again the moment I move away from this ache and focus on my faith, my life thats when God will bring someone in. I wonder if thats why I can't get past it yet. Maybe God isn't ready for me to have someone arrive...maybe just maybe God wants a few more songs with me.

I love a quote I found on facebook, "Dance with God, He'll allow the perfect man to cut in." I've made it to the dance, and I'm learning to sway in tune with God, however I keep clumsily stepping on His toes. God grant me grace and rhythm so that I might dance with you more intimately. I'm so alone in this world. no, I feel so alone. I'm surrounded literally by love from my family. I've never dreamt of being as close as I am with my family. I'd never have it any other way. No, its a different kind of alone feeling. When I'm sitting in my room, watching tv, playing on the net, alone. Its when I'm tired or just coming home from work I feel it most. I'd love for someone to ask me how my day was, everyday. I'd love for conversations on how the day went and to laugh about silly things I do when I'm at home and have my lil "moments" as I so often do.

I'm watching Under The Tuscan Sun right now, it always help motivate me to remember that I can do this singlehood. That I can and very well should pursue my dreams and find ways to use them for the glory of the kingdom, did you know that I am getting my degree in pastry arts?! And that I want to open my own bakery someday? But did you know I want its name to have something to do with God? I haven't figured out what yet, and I want my goods to bring glory to God and I want to serve the hungry with some of the bread that I bake. And I'm starting up my own Avon business...80% of my profits will go to the Jackson Fund (check out my sister-in-law's blog for info...http://www.woodardhappenings.blogspot.com) and the other 20% is going back to God.

Ugh, see, I've wondered from my subject. My heart longs for the man God has fashioned for me. I just need to continue to wait. Pray for me, please?! Pray for me to have patience to wait on God. Pray for me to have grace and rhythm while I continue to catch the beat as I dance with my Maker.

Loving the time with my family!!

Jackson & Aunt Meme after our trip down the slide at Genoa Days...he didn't dig it too much, I think we'll try something different next year...maybe the dragon roller coaster?!?



Buddies!! Kati & Jackson went on the elephant ride this year...Jackson loved it so much he threw a mini-fit when it was time to get off!



Sisters!! Here is Ginny, Jacki & Jacki's son Tommy waiting for the parade to start!



Theres no Quacks about it, My mom is a duck...at least at Genoa Days every year...lol, here she is in the middle of a parade unmasking so that Jackson will stop crying. But, if you look, you can see the orange beek behind her as the head is in the process of falling off behind her. No worries, after I snapped the picture I raced over and got her head put back on and she was off again!



Mini Me!!! Kati ran out to the middle of the street in the middle of the parade...for what you ask?! Nothing better than a travel size box of Sponge Bob toothpaste!! HAHAHA



Baby Whisperer!! My Aunt Leslie and my niece Addison relaxing watching the parade!!



Cousins!! Jackson and Tommy enjoying some crackers together after a fun time of playing!

I cherish so much all the time I am blessed with to spend with my family. Had you have asked us a year ago if we could even imagine being this close and spending this much time together, I dont know that I could have even fathomed it, it wasn't how our family operated...now I praise God that its how we ARE! Got Family?? I do! And I love them dearly!!

For I am His and He is MINE!

Ugh what a glorious truth this song shouts for all those who believe. That Jesus Christ bought for us with His blood, everlasting life. Hallelujah!! Everytime I sing this song it just makes me tear up and smile and sing and want to shout all at the same time. What powerful words it has! PRAISE JESUS for His love!!

Smiles, tears and a cheer...

Wow, these past few months, 2 to be exact have been nothing short of AMAZING! I went sprinting back to Christ. I moved to a different church. I got involved with a small group. I became an Auntie again. I watched my nephew gracefully step into his terrific twos. I made a decision to move schools. I chose a new path for my life. I got back to pursuing my Veteran benefits. I was blessed with being in the waiting room and one of the very first to find out that I had a niece. I was even more blessed when I got her first (non-gas related) smile! :-D

I shed some tears today. I went for my first dr. appointment at the veterans affairs office. I met with whom I'll call Dr. V (which is what I call him anyway since I can't pronounce his name.) Wow, what a blessing he is as my primary care physician. For once it felt like a doctor wasn't trying to rush me out of the office. He sat and took all of his time to really get a feel for what my needs were. He listened to me when I requested no more medications. He offered a supplement to help me with my sleep, and even agreed with me that my sleep patterns are cause for concern. Thank the Lord above that my symptoms don't point to Sleep Apnea. How scary that would be! He honored my request for the weight management classes, and was very sensitive to my weight and more importantly my self-esteem. You see, today I found out that I've not only reached a point in my life that I swore I never would, I actually kinda jumped a lil beyond it. I am so ashamed of myself. But thats not what I want to dwell on. After the appointment, I was in the car, it was all I could do not to cry in regards to my personal failure. I didn't know where to turn to get the honest yet uplifting words that I knew I so desperatly needed. And then God pressed on my heart the short but oh so meaningful conversation my sister-in-law and I had had yesterday. So I called her and asked for her help. Can I just say how amazing she is? Or I'm sure she wouldn't be upset at me to say how amazing our God is that has made her the amazing God fearing and loving woman that she is. She acknowledged the fact that I let myself down, but then she was quick to point out that it doesn't mean that God loves me less. Yes, He wants me to be healthy. But then Kandy said something I will never, ever, ever forget. She told me she would rather me be the size I am and at the spiritual point I am at than to be back down to skinny mini and apart from God as I was. I couldn't agree more with her. I'll gladly keep all of these pounds on that I do not like if it means I will remain in love with and walking along side my Lord and Savior.

So, for now, I'm remaining single and putting my sights and concentrations on 4 vital F's...FAITH, Family, Friends, & Fitness...wish me luck...pray for me...please ask me how I'm doing...call/text/email/IM...help me keep me in check!

Tear Jerkers

Wow, Found these touching surprise reunions of Soldier parents returning from war to surprise their children...Get out the kleenex!!

His love is extravagant!

Wow! What a great night tonight. My God is so good. Tonight was my first night with my new small group. I was nervous to go, almost scared. I even thought about not going since my brother and Kandy weren't goin to be going tonight. But I went. I told myself it was def. not as scary as when I left for the Army where I knew no one...at least here I knew someone, a few of them actually. I'd like to share one of the things Jesus made aware to me tonight...

I was asked to share my testimony and so I did. It was during that, that Jesus reaffirmed in me how much control He has in my life whether I recognize it or not. You see, He wanted me home from the Army way before I even knew he did. And then I got injured. And then the Army said I had to go through the medboard process. In February maybe I found myself scared and alone sitting in front of this retired Colonel. He looked through my file. He looked at me. He asked me some questions. Then he checked out some of my functioning. He looked some more at my paper work, then he put his glasses down on his huge desk and asked me point blank, "Do you want to stay in or get out?" I knew this question was probably going to come, and up until that very second I was on the fence. One moment I knew I was getting out, the next I was surely staying in...back and forth back and forth. I closed my eyes as he waited for my response...and the only thing or should I say the only one who flashed through my sight was Jackson. So I said I wanted to go. And he made it so. I came home not even 3 full months before Jackson's accident. God knew what He was doing. He used my brother and sister-in-law's amazing faith to call me back home. He knew I'd follow His calling when He showed me Jackson that day in the doctor's office. He knew what was going to happen and He knew that as everything happened I would come home...to Him that is. And thats exactly what I did.

God has placed me with an amazing group that I can already see will be a huge blessing in my life. The women of this group I can surely learn alot from. I'm so excited to see and participate with what God is doing. What an AWESOME God I serve.

Remember the fallen, Pray for the fighting, Be Thankful for them all!

On this Memorial Day, and always...Remember them, Pray for them, Make time for them!




Always Remember Them!

Thank-you to those who Rest In Peace for our freedom.

Fire up the BBQ, & Take a moment to remember...

NEVER FORGOTTEN!

Pray & Post

My sister-in-law Kandy and I are committed to praying for Russ as he goes through his deployment. Kandy made this cute little pic to post on sites/blogs....feel free to snag this, pray, post all or some of these options!!

Praying you through

My cousin Russell is now officially deployed to Afghanistan. I'm so very proud of him and love him dearly. May God be with our boys and girls home and around the world as they serve our country. I'm so thankful for each and every one of them and as we approach Memorial Day weekend, make sure you take some time out of the BBQ's and fun to pay tribute to those that have paid the price for our freedom and those continuing to pay the sacrafice being away from home so that we can enjoy our BBQs, Sun, and long weekend.

God Bless Our Servicemen & Women
REMEMBER THEM, THANK THEM, MAKE TIME FOR THEM!

Its hard to believe a full year has gone by...

It was a year ago that I walked into the office I worked in at DDEAMC and found out that my MEDBOARD officer had FINALLY called. I was going home. It's hard to believe that I've been back home for an entire year. And even harder to believe that my Army career ended just 1 year ago. It doesn't seem that long ago. It seems like just yesterday! I miss my DDEAMC Chaplain team, I miss my brothers and sisters in the Army, I miss the Army lifestyle.



But life is great...today its also hard to believe that my nephew is turning 2! Thats right its official...Jackson has officially entered his Wonderful 2's!!!! I love you lil man!!

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."~Desmond Tutu

Last night I got the honor of going and seeing my cousin Diana play soccer! What a blast!! My uncle Chuck even made a few big signs that said "D Rocks" and "Go #3" Unfortunately her team lost by 2 but it was a great game and her team really worked hard considering they only had 1 substitute and the other team had a bench full!
Great Job Hawks!! Here's some shots of Diana playing!





Thursday night game night this past week was also Addison's Welcoming Party!! She made her debut at our weekly game night and was all snuggled in with cousin Kati for a good chunk of the card playing time and snuggled up with me during dinner! Then she got hungry and went up for feeding with mommy who was resting! After that she was wide awake and ready to socialize...lol as we were all getting ready to leave! hehe Here's a few shots of Addison snuggled up with Kati and then checking out daddy when she was wide awake!

I'm a NEW Auntie!!!!

I'm loving laughter today

My brother showed me this video tonight and I about peed my pants with laughter. I hope you enjoy it as well...

for the record, yes Kandy I do feel bad for the dog, but at the same time its really funny...lol. And fyi to all of my readers I'd never allow my dog to do anything even close to that the moment Zeke starts to whimper or move his legs while dreaming I always comfortingly wake him up.

I'm lovin cousins...

I'm loving everything cousins today...from my Dinana



To my Russ bus, and baby Tommy



Nicole & Steph



Alanna & Kristin



And my Katy-did!!

I love how close I feel to all of my cousins. I never imagined I'd be this close to the Tobinson side of the family. I grew up with Nicole and Steph, I've known them forever...when I moved to IL in the 5th grade I didn't think I'd ever be close to the Tobinson side...but I am. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love all my cousins and I thank God for them and how close we are!!