Anxiety mounts as my emotional rollercoaster weekend begins

I'm sitting here in my lazy boy listening to the rain, waiting...waiting for a phone call from my baptizing pastor to discuss my brief testimony I will be giving on Sunday...my emotional high day...the rain seems to trump my mood today, today my heart is broken...tomorrow I fear the pieces will shatter right out of my chest. Tomorrows is Matthew Martinek's funeral. My first military funeral of a fellow brother-in-arms who fell at the price of freedom.

I'm proud of this young man I never knew. I'm proud of his service, I'm proud of his brother who is continuing his choice to return to the service. I'm proud of this great country that I served. Yet the rain falling reminds me that today and tomorrow are hard days for that family. I can't imagine the pain they must feel, the burden they carry, watching mourners pay their respects to their son, their brother, their cousin, their uncle, their best friend, their battle buddy. My heart aches for all of the families that have had to endure this process, that so patriotically sent their child to harms way praying and hoping to never get the call that this family did. I pray for my Soldiers every day...praying that they will come home safely, yet I know the price of freedom is sometimes the price of a life laid down for us. I ask that you as my reader would stop and just take a moment to pray for all of the mourning families, for the families that are on pins and needles until their servicemember comes home, and even for the ones who have their loved one home for right now.


Sunday as you may have guessed, I will be baptized at my church. Some of you may know me and may think, "But you were baptized as an infant..." Its different at Harvest...and I agree with their way of thinking towards baptism. Its a way for a person to publicly proclaim that they are a follower of Jesus Christ. The baptism step comes after the choice of and prayer for salvation. I will be sharing a brief glimpse of my story, in front of 1000+ worshippers. It brought me alot of comfort when during worship either last week or the week before the song leader encouraged those afraid to step up to the microphone to share scripture that we as a congregation aren't there to judge, that we are a family...in that I find comfort. I'm also extremely excited and have been praying for this day since the day that I decided to be baptized. I'm praying that those that hear my story will be stirred up, changed, or even just smile remembering their baptism.

Hows your weekend?!