Dear Lover of my Soul,

I'm writing to let you know that I'm still glad that I prayed for you to draw me in closer to you...to really truly become the lover of my soul. I know that for us to really cherish you more we must endure hardships and processes to refine us like gold. Father, I want to thank you for this heartbreak. I want you to know that the pain of this 11 year on and off relationship is so real. I haven't felt this pain since those terrible nights in Korea when my fiance' left me, but you didn't leave me did you Jesus. Nope, I turned my back on you and silently there you sat waiting for me to come back. How hard it must have been for you as I lie there broken and weeping on the bed. Yearning for someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. You were there, did it break your heart to have me yearn that when all you wanted to do was hold me and tell me everything will be alright?

I know the pain is just as real for you this time too isn't it Lord? Its different this time isn't it? This time, I see you here with me, I can feel your arms around me right now as I lay here on the couch...its almost as if my cushions have disappeared and you're behind me allowing me to rest upon your chest. Whispering that everything will be alright, that I'll see. I feel you wipe away each tear as it falls, reminding me that when I finally get to heaven there will be no more pain, no more tears, and I'm comforted. I lay my head back and allow you to hold me in your arms this time. This time will be different...this time IS different. This time I asked you for this, and this time, as I wait for whats to come, I'll worship you, I'll praise you, I'll thank you, and I'll walk with you. For with you I can face tomorrow, with you I have HOPE. I see the sun shining, I know your smiling as I type this, as you fill me with your spirit of Hope...together we'll walk this heartbroken narrow path, and together I'll fall deeper in love with you, the Lover of my soul.