"To Cut Slingload"

This is a phrase used often in the Army, and very often in my office. I would define it as to rid yourself of something, i.e. extra baggage, a relationship, etc.

So I asked myself on the way to lunch today, what do I need to cut slingload on? I can think of a few relationships, I've become frustrated with and would at times, like to cut sling load on them. But faith and maybe even determination continually whispers, give it another try. And sure enough, the person or people involved, do something wonderful and it reminds me why I continue to carry on.

I'd also like to cut slingload on my weight. I never once thought enlisting in the Army and becoming a Chaplain Assistant would place me behind a desk. Sure I knew I'd have administrative duties, I just didn't think THIS much! Well, a lack of it here...shh dont tell my boss, I'm getting good at faking busy. Truth of the matter is, I'm so bored throughout the day and can't see the outside world (thanks to no windows!) that by the time I get off work, I'm lethargic and lazy. My battle buddy Irons and I were discussing what we were going to eat on the way into the chow hall, she wanted some dessert and soda for sure...I laughed told her she'd be asleep by 1500 (3pm) because she'd crash so bad from the sugar rush. I'm trying to watch my calories and begin dropping some of this weight, so I've stopped drinking sodas (except special ocassions) and have been limiting what I eat and trying to find balance in my meals even if they aren't prepped the way I'd like (most baked chicken and fish, and vegeies for that matter down here are just sitting and soaking in butter, its REALLY GROSS!) I watched the season finale' of The Biggest Loser Couples last night, I was rooting for Kelly and Ali, but more so Kelly. She had been the underdog from the get-go. And she stayed on the ranch the entire time...never once got eliminated as Ali did. But then when the show was prepping us for Kelly's final weigh-in, it was revealed that 6 weeks prior when she was released from the ranch, she wound up in the hospital with a herniated disc. A back-injury. Man, I'd love to have seen her pull of the win. Ali did though. She was the first female to ever win the Biggest Loser. I'm proud of her! She's so ity bity now. I want to end up in that spot, despite my neck-injury. I will make it. I don't like living in this body that I dislike so much. It's time to make a change. It's time to get my smile back.

I'm ready, I've got my blinders on and I will not fail my mission. I will have set-backs, thats just the way it goes. But I'm ready for them to knock me back down a few steps from my climb and then I'll continue on. Even if its 2 steps forward, 1 step back, I will complete my goal of a 50lbs weight loss, by this time next year. Help me in my journey friends. I'm starting off very fragile, my self-esteem isn't very high, but I know I've done amazing things before, and this is nothing new to me. I love challenges, they drive me.

I'll never forget what one of my NCO's in Korea said to me, after we finished the ruck march that through my neck into a tailspin...I had led the Soldiers, since I was the shortest for the march. There was a huge hill above us, and from there all we'd have to do is climb it, turn around and the walk back would be cake...When we got to the top of the mountain and were getting ready to start back down my 1SG replaced me as leader. Out of breath this NCO came over to me and said, "I've never known a Soldier to not only keep the pace when climbing any kind of hill, let alone gain speed as you did." Carrying all the weight on my back, I did just that, I climbed, I put my head down, and I went, I told myself one more step, one more step, and I watched my feet...I didn't look at the hill, and before I knew, the order was givin..."HALT!" I had made it.

I am approaching this goal as I did that hill and every hill I ever walked, marched, and ran, I will put my head down, and tell myself just one more step, one more!