Anxiety mounts as my emotional rollercoaster weekend begins

I'm sitting here in my lazy boy listening to the rain, waiting...waiting for a phone call from my baptizing pastor to discuss my brief testimony I will be giving on Sunday...my emotional high day...the rain seems to trump my mood today, today my heart is broken...tomorrow I fear the pieces will shatter right out of my chest. Tomorrows is Matthew Martinek's funeral. My first military funeral of a fellow brother-in-arms who fell at the price of freedom.

I'm proud of this young man I never knew. I'm proud of his service, I'm proud of his brother who is continuing his choice to return to the service. I'm proud of this great country that I served. Yet the rain falling reminds me that today and tomorrow are hard days for that family. I can't imagine the pain they must feel, the burden they carry, watching mourners pay their respects to their son, their brother, their cousin, their uncle, their best friend, their battle buddy. My heart aches for all of the families that have had to endure this process, that so patriotically sent their child to harms way praying and hoping to never get the call that this family did. I pray for my Soldiers every day...praying that they will come home safely, yet I know the price of freedom is sometimes the price of a life laid down for us. I ask that you as my reader would stop and just take a moment to pray for all of the mourning families, for the families that are on pins and needles until their servicemember comes home, and even for the ones who have their loved one home for right now.


Sunday as you may have guessed, I will be baptized at my church. Some of you may know me and may think, "But you were baptized as an infant..." Its different at Harvest...and I agree with their way of thinking towards baptism. Its a way for a person to publicly proclaim that they are a follower of Jesus Christ. The baptism step comes after the choice of and prayer for salvation. I will be sharing a brief glimpse of my story, in front of 1000+ worshippers. It brought me alot of comfort when during worship either last week or the week before the song leader encouraged those afraid to step up to the microphone to share scripture that we as a congregation aren't there to judge, that we are a family...in that I find comfort. I'm also extremely excited and have been praying for this day since the day that I decided to be baptized. I'm praying that those that hear my story will be stirred up, changed, or even just smile remembering their baptism.

Hows your weekend?!

Our Community Mourns...

A Soldier from my community was killed in the line of battle. I wasn't fortunate enough to know this brave soul, but I do know his brother, another brave Warrior for our Country. My heart goes out to their family...



"DeKALB – A 20-year-old U.S. Army soldier from DeKalb County has died of injuries he suffered in Afghanistan in a bomb attack on his vehicle.

Pfc. Matthew M. Martinek died Friday, Sept. 11, at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, of wounds he suffered Sept. 4 in the Paktika province of Afghanistan, according to the U.S. Department of Defense. Martinek's vehicle was attacked with an improvised explosive device, followed by grenade and small-arms fire, the Defense Department said in a written statement.

He was among six soldiers that day who were joined by their lieutenant in trying to secure their vehicle after the initial attack, according to a written statement from the U.S. Army Alaska, where Martinek was deployed. Then the group was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade and small arms fire.

Also killed was 2nd Lt. Darryn Andrews, of Dallas, Texas. The other Soldiers were wounded, said the statement.

A paratrooper supporting Operation Enduring Freedom, Martinek joined the Army in March 2008. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team (Airborne), 25th Infantry Division, based in Fort Richardson, Ala. He was deployed to Afghanistan in March 2009, said Maj. Bill Coppernoll, public affairs officer for the U.S. Army Alaska.

The Army lists Martinek as being from DeKalb, but he attended Genoa-Kingston schools from kindergarten through his freshman year of high school, Schools Superintendent Scott Wakeley said Monday. He graduated from Bartlett High School in 2007, according to his profile on Facebook, a social networking Web site. The site identifies his hometown as Genoa.

Clayton Greenlee, 20, also of Genoa, reminisced Monday about playing little league baseball with Martinek. The two were friends in grade school and kept in touch after Martinek moved to Bartlett. Greenlee said Martinek moved back to the DeKalb area after high school and worked at a tire store in Sycamore.

"Even when he moved away, he still kept in contact with me and our other friends," Greenlee said Monday during a phone interview. "He was a great person."

He described Martinek as someone with a good heart who made time for his friends and family. His hobbies included many outdoor activities, like camping, biking and riding all-terrain vehicles.

"He always made sure that you were in a good mood and if you were sad or distressed he tried to help in any way he could," Greenlee said. "He will be missed dearly by all of his friends."

As of Sept. 11, there had been 23 soldier deaths this year in U.S. Army Alaska, Coppernoll said.

Martinek is at least the fourth servicemen of DeKalb County who has died and whose family members have been notified. Before him were 1st Lt. Brian D. Slavenas, 30, of Genoa, who was in the Illinois National Guard, Pvt. Christopher M. Alcozer, 25, of DeKalb, who was in the U.S. Army, and Illinois National Guard Spc. Ashley Sietsema."

This article was taken from: http://www.daily-chronicle.com/articles/2009/09/14/41634766/index.xml

Theres so much rejoicing happening in my heart right now...

When I get permission to let you all know what has happened I surely will...just know its been something really tugging at my heart for the last few months and I'm praising God today that it has HAPPENED!! THANK YOU JESUS THAT YOU WOULD CALL US YOUR OWN!!!

And again our hometown celebrates...

Another one of my Hometown Heros has returned home...He actually came home on Thursday...We are so proud of you Chris! WELCOME HOME BUDDY!!

A testimony through Tragedy

It's been nearly a year since my life took a re-direction...but thats not where my story starts. I'd like to share a good chunk of my testimony with you.

I grew up in the Methodist Church, mom did her best to make sure my brother and I were in church every week. I was baptized at 1 in the same church here in town that my parents were married in, almost all of my aunts and uncles were married in too, I was confirmed there too. Anyway, I didn't know anything about salvation until I was in my first year of college at Judson. It was there that I walked down to my RA's room, knocked on her door, and sat and prayed the sinner's prayer with her, giving my life to Christ. I spent a year there, and then I moved to Portland Oregon, there I quickly found a church and a small group. I really enjoyed it and the people I became friends with became my light at the end of the tunnel. As I cared for my Grandfather I struggled alot emotionally, I wasn't happy. So at the end of my year I came back home. I got involved with the wrong crowd then, I got into drugs, and abused alcohol (I wasn't 21 yet), all of the wrong choices, I made them. It all came to a screeching hault one May day when I was busted by the Police for drinking under age and doing drugs. God had a plan for me, and some how the only thing to go onto my permanent record was the alcohol. I did my probation time, paid my fees, and stayed away from drugs and alcohol completely. I didn't drink again til after my 21st birthday and even then it was sporadic, but I'd get completely wasted. It was a year later that I felt like I was completely burnt out from teaching and unsatisfied with my weight that I decided to join the Army. I made more poor choices while working with the recruiter. I lost the weight, and left for basic training. Life was great in training, I loved it. I met a man whom I respected and adored while in training, and then quickly fell in love. When I got sent to Korea I was hopeless feeling but within weeks he and I had begun to plan our engagement. It was during this time that my bad choices with the recruiter resurfaced and I was faced with a hard decision. I chose the wrong choice and I got caught for it too, as a result I lost my fiancee', the respect of my superiors, and not only hated myself but also lost all confidence in myself. (I still have a hard time trusting myself since then, through the grace of God, my confidence in myself is growing.) I spent days on end in bed, weeping. I wouldn't eat, I'd just cry and sleep. Finally, I was challenged in a suicide prevention training class to go out of my way to do something nice for myself...so I went out and bought myself two baby turtles that I had been wanting to do for months. Those turtles became my best friends, I'd talk to them, love on them, watch them grow. They needed me to care for them, I needed them to keep on going.

Fastforward to my transition to Georgia, I'd been there for roughly a year when it was time for me to go through my medical board evaluation on whether or not I'd stay in the military. It all came down to a discussion I had with a very high ranking doctor and I, in his office. I was so intimidated, I knew the question was coming...But up until these months of the whole medical board evaluation process, I hadn't really been talking to God. I knew the words to speak to "fool" people into thinking I was turning to Christ, and I spoke them. I was trying to be a good person, but really, I was fooling all of us. But now I had begun praying. My supervisor had told me that it would come down to a question, did I want to stay or did I want to go. I was so torn...I loved the Army and my job. I was good at my job and I knew that I was. I loved what the Army stood for and what I was doing for my nation. On the other hand I was facing physical pain, daily. I missed my family so much it hurt, and I felt my heart break when I came home for Christmas and my nephew cried when I tried to come near him...he didn't know who I was. So here I was, sitting in front of this doctor, and finally the question comes out...do you want to stay in or do you want to go home. I remember looking at him like I had no idea what I wanted to do. I remember feeling like I was literally sitting on a fence sideways, to my right was staying in the army, to my left was going home. I wanted to stay on the fence and have someone else push me one way or the other. So, I closed my eyes and I prayed. I asked God to help me choose, and before my prayer was over, my sweet nephew's face flashed into my brain, my heart was screaming for Jackson. So I blurted out the words before I could even stop them. "I'd like to go home." And it was done, the papers were started and soon I'd be on my way home. Months followed as I waited for my chance to go home. My nephew's first birthday was quickly approaching and I was scared more and more that I'd miss his big day and my cousin's graduation from highschool. It just so happened, my papers were delivered to me the day of my nephew's first birthday...the next day, I was on my way home. I drove 15 hours in one day, I was so excited I couldn't even contain myself. I got to surprise my cousin during her graduation party, and the following day I was sitting holding my nephew at his first birthday party!

Three months later, I'd learn devastating news of an accident involving my nephew. Anyone who knows me knows, what happened next and I can spare you the details of that. The best way to describe the whole terrible accident is to quote the scripture we worked on memorizing today in church.

Psalm 25:3 "No one whose hope is in You, will EVER be put to shame."

God wouldn't allow John and Kandy to be put to shame and He proved that last January. During those five months my emotions were all over the page. I was selfish, I was rude, I again lost a fiancee' do to my not being right with Lord I believe it didn't work out. Yet, towards the end I regularly attended church with John and Kandy, so that they could have the time with Jackson...and so Jackson could be in church. Little did I know, that God was using all of this time to call me Home, among other amazing things I'm still praising God for. I would watch John and Kandy through the whole ordeal at how much hope they would have that Christ would redeem them and bring their son home. There was one afternoon that I was supposed to leave for a trip at the beginning of it all, Yet I knew my leaving at that point would keep John and Kandy from seeing Jackson. It came down to an all out screaming match. I was so upset that I didn't want to go, I didn't want to hold them from their son. And yet it was Kandy who finally convinced me that I needed to go. That I needed to trust God to provide the correct paperwork to allow them to see him. And it was Kandy who notified me that evening that the paperwork had gone through and they had gotten to see Jackson. After Jackson returned home for good, I continued going to church with them as I felt like it was where I was supposed to be. Around three months later they would do an altar call, and I would find myself humbled before the Lord, on my knees sobbing at the foot of the altar. A lovely woman came and prayed with me and held me as I sobbed. I haven't been the same since. The Lord continues in his mercy to show me ways that I need to continue to grow and better myself to bring more glory to Him.

As my family approaches tomorrow, if any of them read this I challenge you to face it with your head held high. For our hope is in Christ and NO ONE whose hope is in him will EVER be put to shame. If we ever need a reminder of the truth in that verse we need look no further than to the two people I am so blessed and honored to walk beside in this journey of faith. Its the same two people who are cheering me on towards my baptism, and in my walk with Christ, and its the same two people that I call my brother and sister. I love you guys, walk boldly into tomorrow, we know that Christ holds it. Don't worry about today or tomorrow...we will face whatever walks into our lives with the bold strength that you demonstrated to me...through one of the hardest trials I've ever watched anyone endure. I'm honored to know you. I'm praying for the prince of peace to reign in us all, and I'm asking my readers to do the same, as I know this one year mark will bring up some insecurities and fears and struggles out of all of us that may surface during this time.

Fall is coming...

My most favorite season of the year is quickly approaching!! The kids went back to school yesterday, and I am starting to feel the crispness is slowly starting to come in. I love fall! I get to wear a hoodie and jeans comfortably, then theres the football, and the pumpkins, and then theres Thanksgiving and my birthday too! How exciting! The leaves fall off the trees and the outside slowly starts to turn brown and die. Its all so exciting to me that in the anticipation of winter when most everything is dead and waiting. It reminds me of how the disciples must have felt when Jesus died. Did it feel like a long season, those three days before Jesus rose, did they drag on and on in their mourning?? I wonder if it felt what our winter feels like to us, as if the days drag on and on and never ends.

I say bring on the fall...I'm ready to pull out my hoodies!!

Ed Freeman

I received a disturbing email that led me to believe that Michael Jackson's death in the media shadowed over the death of a Medal of Honor recipient. So I chose to check it out on Snopes.com. What I found is that his story was true, however the date of his death and the fact that Michael Jackson's media attention was overshadowing it was false. I hope you'll take the time to read the story of this amazing man who stood up for our country and those who served along side him...

The story of a helicopter pilot, Major Ed Freeman, who flew his unarmed Huey into to the battle zone during the Viet Nam War multiple times to supply troops and evacuate wounded personnel after the MediVac helicopters were ordered to stop evacuations. This act of courage earned Major Freeman the Flying Cross and decades later, the Congressional Medal of Honor.


The Truth:
The story of U.S. Army Veteran Ed Freeman is true.

He was a veteran not only of Viet Nam, but of World War II and Korea.

He was the recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor for his actions on November 14, 1965, at Landing Zone X-Ray, in the Ia Drang Valley of Vietnam.

During the Vietnam War Freeman served as a helicopter pilot with the rank of Captain in US Army's Company A, 229th, Assault Helicopter Battalion, First Cavalry Division Air Mobil.

On November 14th, 1965, a US battalion was surrounded by the enemy. In the heat of the battle when all hope was lost, an unarmed helicopter came to their aid, bringing water, much needed supplies and ammunition.

According to survivors of the battle the unarmed Huey returned more than 21 times with supplies, evacuating the wounded each trip. That day, more than 70 soldiers were flown to safety by Captain Freeman.

Freeman was decorated with the distinguished Flying Cross for his act of bravery but for decades those who survived this battle felt that a higher honor should be awarded to the helicopter pilot. On July 16, 2001, Congress awarded the Medal of Honor to Freeman with the persuasion of Lieutenant Colonel Bruce Crandall, other survivors who were rescued by Freeman, and Senator John McCain. That day, Freeman and his wife, Barbara, were invited to the Whitehouse where President George W. Bush presented the Congressional Medal of honor before witnesses consisting of Vice President Cheney, the secretary of defense, secretary of veterans affairs, the joint chiefs as well as members of the Joint Chiefs, Senator John McCain, Senator Craig, Congressman Otter, and Congressman Simpson from the delegation of Idaho.

On August 20, 2008, Major Ed Freeman passed away from complications of Parkinson's disease at the age of 80 and was laid to rest at the Veterans Cemetery in Idaho, where he settled.

In March of 2009, the United States Congress bestowed one more honor to Major Freeman. They designated the US Post Office in his place of birth McLain, Mississippi, the "Major Ed W. Freeman Post Office."


(http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/e/ed-freeman.htm)

Bush Presents Congressional Medal of Honor
Aired July 16, 2001 - 09:35 ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.


THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: We want to the take you now to Washington, to the East Room of the White House. President Bush has just entered the room, and they are now in the midst of the prayer opening the ceremonies where in moments we are going to be witnessing President Bush confirming upon a helicopter pilot from the Vietnam War era the medal of honor, the highest nation's honor.

(JOINED IN PROGRESS)

GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Good morning, and welcome to the White House.

Today for the first time I will present the Medal of Honor. It's a unique privilege to present the nation's highest military distinction to Ed Freeman of Boise, Idaho. This moment is well deserved, and it's been long in coming.

Our White House military unit is accustomed to a lot of great events, but I can assure you they started this day with a great sense of anticipation. After all, they know how rare this kind of gathering is and what it means: To be in the presence of one who has won the Medal of Honor is a privilege; to be in the room with a group of over 50 is a moment none of us will ever forget.

We're in the presence of more than 50 of the bravest men who've ever worn the uniform and I want to welcome you all to the White House.

(APPLAUSE)

It's an honor as well to welcome Barbara, a name I kind of like, Ed's wife, along with his family members and members of his unit from Vietnam.

As well, I want to welcome the vice president, the secretary of defense, secretary of veterans affairs, the joint chiefs as well as members of the Joint Chiefs.

I want to welcome Senator McCain. I want to welcome Senator Craig, Congressman Otter, Congressman Simpson from the delegation of Idaho. And I want to welcome you all.

It was in this house, in this office upstairs, that Abraham Lincoln signed into law the bills establishing the Medal of Honor. By a custom that began with Theodore Roosevelt, the Medal of Honor is to be presented by the president. That duty came to Harry S. Truman more than 70 times. He often said that he'd rather wear the medal than to be the commander in chief. Some of you might have heard him say that.

(LAUGHTER)

Perhaps you were also here on May 2, 1963 when John F. Kennedy welcomed 240 recipients of the Medal of Honor.

BUSH: By all rights, another president from Texas should have had the honor of conferring this medal. It was in the second year of Lynden Johnson's presidency that Army Captain Ed Freeman did something that the men of the 7th Calvary have never forgotten. Years passed, even decades, but the memory of what happened on November 14, 1965 has always stayed with them.

For his actions that day, Captain Freeman was awarded the distinguished Flying Cross, but the men who were there, including the commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Bruce Crandall, felt a still higher honor was called for. Through the unremitting efforts of Lieutenant Colonel Crandall and many others and the persuasive weight from Senator John McCain, the story now comes to its rightful conclusion.

That story began with a battalion surrounded by the enemy in one of Vietnam's fiercest battles. The survivors remember the desperate fear of almost certain death. They remember gunfire that one witness described as the most intense he had ever seen, and they remember the sight of an unarmed helicopter coming to their aid. The man with the controls flew through the gunfire not once, not 10 times, but at least 21 times. That single helicopter brought the water, ammunition and supplies that saved many lives on the ground, and the same pilot flew more than 70 wounded soldiers to safety.

In a moment, we will hear the full citation in all its heroic detail. General Eisenhower once observed that when you hear a Medal of Honor citation, you practically assume that the man in question didn't make it out alive. In fact, about 1 in 6 never did, and the other five, men just like you all here, probably didn't expect to.

Citations are also written in the most simple of language, needing no embellishment or techniques of rhetoric. They record places and names and events that describe themselves. The medal itself bears only one word and needs only one, valor.

As a boy of 13, Ed Freeman saw thousands of men on maneuvers pass by his home in Mississippi. He decided then and there that he would be a soldier. A lifetime later the Congress has now decided that he's even more than a soldier because he did more than his duty. He served his country and his comrades to the fullest, rising above and beyond anything the Army or the nation could have ever asked.

It's been some years now, since he left the service and was last saluted.

BUSH: But from this day, wherever he goes, by military tradition, Ed Freeman will merit a salute from any enlisted personnel or officer of rank. Commander Seevers, I'll now ask you to read this citation of the newest member of the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, and it'll be my honor to give him his first salute.

COMMANDER GEORGE SEEVERS: Ladies and gentlemen, please remain seated for the reading of the citation and the presentation of the medal. The president of the United States of America, authorized by act of Congress, March 3, 1863 has awarded in the name of the Congress the medal of honor to Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, distinguished himself by numerous acts of conspicuous gallantry and extraordinary intrepidity on 14 November, 1965, while serving with Company A, 229th, Assault Helicopter Battalion, First Cavalry Division Air Mobil (ph).

As a flight leader and second in command of a 16-helicopter lift unit, he supported a heavily engaged American infantry battalion at landing zone X-ray in the Idrang Valley, Republic of Vietnam. The infantry unit was almost out of ammunition, after taking some of the heaviest casualties of the war, fighting off a relentless attack from a highly motivated, heavily armed enemy force.

When the infantry commander closed the helicopter landing zone, due to intense direct enemy fire, Captain Freeman risked his own life by flying his unarmed helicopter through a gauntlet of enemy fire, time after time, delivering critically needed ammunition, water and medical supplies to the Paceeds (ph) battalion.

His flights had a direct impact on the battle's outcome by providing the engaged units with timely supplies of ammunition critical to their survival without which they would almost surely have experienced a much greater loss of life. After medical evacuation helicopters refused to fly into the area, due to intense enemy fire, Captain Freeman flew 14 separate rescue missions, providing life- saving evacuation of an estimates 30 seriously wounded soldiers, some of whom would not have survived, had he not acted.

All flights were made into a small emergency landing zone within 100 to 200 meters of the defensive perimeter where heavily committed units were perilously holding off the attacking elements. Captain Freeman's selfless acts of great valor, extraordinary perseverance and intrepidity were far above and beyond the call of duty or mission and set a superb example of leadership and courage for all of his peers.

SEEVERS: Captain Freeman's extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit and the United States Army.

(http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0107/16/se.02.html)