Time to be honest...with myself and all of you.

Being a young single, christian, no I'm not going to use christian...I don't like, no I hate how modern day "christians" have taken the meaning of the word and twisted and mangled it into believing in Christ but not living as you do...no let me start over.

Being a young, single, Saved woman in 2009 is hard. I wonder if its always been that way. I bet it has. Being single has to be a struggle. Everything revolves around being in love, finding your soulmate, your partner for life. As a woman in my mid-20's (I shutter at the thought, I'm in my mid-20's,) the friends I went to school with all have families of their own in one form or another. I'm the only one without a boyfriend or a husband. I'm choked up. I can't even write about my heartache in a truthful manner.

No, no matter how hard it is its time that I put it out there so that I can begin the steps to fixating my heart on where it needs to be. My heart physically aches for the man that God made to fit next to me. I'm doing ok in a matter of thinking of the one I've thought all along that was "him," not being him. I miss his friendship but I'm ok with the distance. God wants more for my marriage relationship. He wants more for my life. And yet I soooo struggle I struggle daily with wondering when my time will come. I've seen it happen time and again the moment I move away from this ache and focus on my faith, my life thats when God will bring someone in. I wonder if thats why I can't get past it yet. Maybe God isn't ready for me to have someone arrive...maybe just maybe God wants a few more songs with me.

I love a quote I found on facebook, "Dance with God, He'll allow the perfect man to cut in." I've made it to the dance, and I'm learning to sway in tune with God, however I keep clumsily stepping on His toes. God grant me grace and rhythm so that I might dance with you more intimately. I'm so alone in this world. no, I feel so alone. I'm surrounded literally by love from my family. I've never dreamt of being as close as I am with my family. I'd never have it any other way. No, its a different kind of alone feeling. When I'm sitting in my room, watching tv, playing on the net, alone. Its when I'm tired or just coming home from work I feel it most. I'd love for someone to ask me how my day was, everyday. I'd love for conversations on how the day went and to laugh about silly things I do when I'm at home and have my lil "moments" as I so often do.

I'm watching Under The Tuscan Sun right now, it always help motivate me to remember that I can do this singlehood. That I can and very well should pursue my dreams and find ways to use them for the glory of the kingdom, did you know that I am getting my degree in pastry arts?! And that I want to open my own bakery someday? But did you know I want its name to have something to do with God? I haven't figured out what yet, and I want my goods to bring glory to God and I want to serve the hungry with some of the bread that I bake. And I'm starting up my own Avon business...80% of my profits will go to the Jackson Fund (check out my sister-in-law's blog for info...http://www.woodardhappenings.blogspot.com) and the other 20% is going back to God.

Ugh, see, I've wondered from my subject. My heart longs for the man God has fashioned for me. I just need to continue to wait. Pray for me, please?! Pray for me to have patience to wait on God. Pray for me to have grace and rhythm while I continue to catch the beat as I dance with my Maker.

Loving the time with my family!!

Jackson & Aunt Meme after our trip down the slide at Genoa Days...he didn't dig it too much, I think we'll try something different next year...maybe the dragon roller coaster?!?



Buddies!! Kati & Jackson went on the elephant ride this year...Jackson loved it so much he threw a mini-fit when it was time to get off!



Sisters!! Here is Ginny, Jacki & Jacki's son Tommy waiting for the parade to start!



Theres no Quacks about it, My mom is a duck...at least at Genoa Days every year...lol, here she is in the middle of a parade unmasking so that Jackson will stop crying. But, if you look, you can see the orange beek behind her as the head is in the process of falling off behind her. No worries, after I snapped the picture I raced over and got her head put back on and she was off again!



Mini Me!!! Kati ran out to the middle of the street in the middle of the parade...for what you ask?! Nothing better than a travel size box of Sponge Bob toothpaste!! HAHAHA



Baby Whisperer!! My Aunt Leslie and my niece Addison relaxing watching the parade!!



Cousins!! Jackson and Tommy enjoying some crackers together after a fun time of playing!

I cherish so much all the time I am blessed with to spend with my family. Had you have asked us a year ago if we could even imagine being this close and spending this much time together, I dont know that I could have even fathomed it, it wasn't how our family operated...now I praise God that its how we ARE! Got Family?? I do! And I love them dearly!!

For I am His and He is MINE!

Ugh what a glorious truth this song shouts for all those who believe. That Jesus Christ bought for us with His blood, everlasting life. Hallelujah!! Everytime I sing this song it just makes me tear up and smile and sing and want to shout all at the same time. What powerful words it has! PRAISE JESUS for His love!!

Smiles, tears and a cheer...

Wow, these past few months, 2 to be exact have been nothing short of AMAZING! I went sprinting back to Christ. I moved to a different church. I got involved with a small group. I became an Auntie again. I watched my nephew gracefully step into his terrific twos. I made a decision to move schools. I chose a new path for my life. I got back to pursuing my Veteran benefits. I was blessed with being in the waiting room and one of the very first to find out that I had a niece. I was even more blessed when I got her first (non-gas related) smile! :-D

I shed some tears today. I went for my first dr. appointment at the veterans affairs office. I met with whom I'll call Dr. V (which is what I call him anyway since I can't pronounce his name.) Wow, what a blessing he is as my primary care physician. For once it felt like a doctor wasn't trying to rush me out of the office. He sat and took all of his time to really get a feel for what my needs were. He listened to me when I requested no more medications. He offered a supplement to help me with my sleep, and even agreed with me that my sleep patterns are cause for concern. Thank the Lord above that my symptoms don't point to Sleep Apnea. How scary that would be! He honored my request for the weight management classes, and was very sensitive to my weight and more importantly my self-esteem. You see, today I found out that I've not only reached a point in my life that I swore I never would, I actually kinda jumped a lil beyond it. I am so ashamed of myself. But thats not what I want to dwell on. After the appointment, I was in the car, it was all I could do not to cry in regards to my personal failure. I didn't know where to turn to get the honest yet uplifting words that I knew I so desperatly needed. And then God pressed on my heart the short but oh so meaningful conversation my sister-in-law and I had had yesterday. So I called her and asked for her help. Can I just say how amazing she is? Or I'm sure she wouldn't be upset at me to say how amazing our God is that has made her the amazing God fearing and loving woman that she is. She acknowledged the fact that I let myself down, but then she was quick to point out that it doesn't mean that God loves me less. Yes, He wants me to be healthy. But then Kandy said something I will never, ever, ever forget. She told me she would rather me be the size I am and at the spiritual point I am at than to be back down to skinny mini and apart from God as I was. I couldn't agree more with her. I'll gladly keep all of these pounds on that I do not like if it means I will remain in love with and walking along side my Lord and Savior.

So, for now, I'm remaining single and putting my sights and concentrations on 4 vital F's...FAITH, Family, Friends, & Fitness...wish me luck...pray for me...please ask me how I'm doing...call/text/email/IM...help me keep me in check!

Tear Jerkers

Wow, Found these touching surprise reunions of Soldier parents returning from war to surprise their children...Get out the kleenex!!

His love is extravagant!

Wow! What a great night tonight. My God is so good. Tonight was my first night with my new small group. I was nervous to go, almost scared. I even thought about not going since my brother and Kandy weren't goin to be going tonight. But I went. I told myself it was def. not as scary as when I left for the Army where I knew no one...at least here I knew someone, a few of them actually. I'd like to share one of the things Jesus made aware to me tonight...

I was asked to share my testimony and so I did. It was during that, that Jesus reaffirmed in me how much control He has in my life whether I recognize it or not. You see, He wanted me home from the Army way before I even knew he did. And then I got injured. And then the Army said I had to go through the medboard process. In February maybe I found myself scared and alone sitting in front of this retired Colonel. He looked through my file. He looked at me. He asked me some questions. Then he checked out some of my functioning. He looked some more at my paper work, then he put his glasses down on his huge desk and asked me point blank, "Do you want to stay in or get out?" I knew this question was probably going to come, and up until that very second I was on the fence. One moment I knew I was getting out, the next I was surely staying in...back and forth back and forth. I closed my eyes as he waited for my response...and the only thing or should I say the only one who flashed through my sight was Jackson. So I said I wanted to go. And he made it so. I came home not even 3 full months before Jackson's accident. God knew what He was doing. He used my brother and sister-in-law's amazing faith to call me back home. He knew I'd follow His calling when He showed me Jackson that day in the doctor's office. He knew what was going to happen and He knew that as everything happened I would come home...to Him that is. And thats exactly what I did.

God has placed me with an amazing group that I can already see will be a huge blessing in my life. The women of this group I can surely learn alot from. I'm so excited to see and participate with what God is doing. What an AWESOME God I serve.

Remember the fallen, Pray for the fighting, Be Thankful for them all!

On this Memorial Day, and always...Remember them, Pray for them, Make time for them!




Always Remember Them!