Today I'm thankful for...

my job! I'm so thankful for the fact that I get to work 3-4 days a week and spend it caring for 2 family's children! The children I care for are so amazing as are the parents! I am so blessed to have a job in this economy (as it was only about 4 months ago that the daycare I worked at closed down,) but also a job that is such a blessing to my life. I've learned from one of the families how to care for a newborn from day one & a toddler. And the other I work with school-aged children which is such a great combination of ages! I love what I do and am so blessed by the families that I care for and have become a part of!

Dinner with the ladies!

Tonight I'm thankful for friends that say friends forever and then even though their lives get busy and go in different directions, they still make time for each other (or attempt to...missed ya tonight Lauren but its the thought that counts and you tried! :-D) We may not hang out all the time and we may all be in different areas in life, but the love is still there and that I am so beyond blessed by! Thanks ladies for a WONDERFUL birthday dinner! I love you guys!

Thankful for music that comes at just the right time...

I found this song on my iPod the other day at just the perfect time...the words are so moving and related to just the moment that I was experiencing. I praise God for the love and graciousness that he pours down on His beloved despite our condition or circumstances that we are in.

Praise God for....

(image from: www.nicolewick.com)

Tonight I am ever thankful for Grace, and a community and relationship centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am over exhausted and not feeling the greatest and I ended up being a bit short with Ryan and then crying my eyes out to the women in my community group. And in return I was shown grace upon grace. I'm so blessed by it, and love them all so dearly!

Oh What a Birthday!!

Wow so much to be thankful for today. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for my 27th birthday! So to sum it up, I'm thankful for the loved ones that love me so dearly. I feel so overly blessed!

This is my brother and I :-)

ok...so maybe its going to sometimes be light hearted...but...

Tonight...I'm thankful for Tastefully Simple's Perfectly Parmesan Biscuits...Holy cow I made the mix as a side for dinner for my mom & I and I substituted Mozzarella cheese for the cheddar and they were still to die for! D_E_LICOUS!

What are you thankful for?

Its that time of year again...

November is here and its time to practice thankfulness...so here we go...a week late but better late than never right?!?

Today I find myself overwhelmingly thankful for my mom!



Boy did she drop everything to help me out in a pinch! I've been working with someone to get some really big furniture out of my former apartment and into hands that could be blessed by it. Well it worked out last minute this afternoon that it could be picked up! With me at work with both families today it was impossible for me to be around, so mom dropped everything this afternoon and spent hours at the apartment, sweeping and helping prepare and hand over all that was taken!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM!!! Today, my gratitude is for you and everything you drop to go out of your way to help me out. I'm so grateful.

Can you say, "Help Please?!"

Those are the two words I find myself repeating the majority of my days that I'm working with the toddler I watch (I'll call her A.) She's 16 months old and instead of asking for help will try and try and try and get frustrated in the midst of her trying and start whining/screaming/crying or any combination of those three. I'll walk over to her, help her and in the midst of is say, "A can you say Help Please...Help Please" She isn't fully talking yet so I don't expect it but I feel like if I keep feeding her the words eventually she'll get it. Its a different story when I'm around my 3 year old nephew. He will ask for help in heartbeat. "Meme, you please help me??" What a sweet innocent voice, how can I not.

I'm such a fool sometimes. Let me start there. Or maybe even a hypocrite. That wouldn't be far from the truth. I'm trying to teach A to ask for help and I encourage Jackson to ask for it, but when it comes to my own life I have such a difficult time asking for help. I'm at a new place in life where yesterday I had to completely humble myself and repeatedly tell the ones that I love so dearly that I didn't ask for help and now I'm so far down the path that all I can do is go back and try to slowly undo the damage I've done. I'm moving home with my mom to get myself out of this monetary hole I've dug. And while I've had attempts to help pay my debts I feel its best that I go back, have fewer bills and get myself back to a debt free state of life. Its hard to ask for help, but I'm finding comfort in the following verse,

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4

If I would only humble myself so easily as Jackson does, I'd be following this path. That's my goal right now, to get back to a humble state as a child where I'm not afraid to say, "Help me please" and allow someone to assist me. Its time to stop being prideful and attempting to do this on my own. I'm accepting my mothers help of allowing me to move in and teach me not only to make a budget but to live on one. I'm really excited and I know only glory to God lies in front of me. I'd be so lost without the cross and the saving grace that Jesus gives. I'm ever grateful for His sacrifice.

Lost in the media...

I've really been paying attention to my habits when it comes to tv lately. And what I'm noticing about me scares me alittle. I've found that I am capable of getting so sucked into tv/movies, that I allow it to affect me to the core. For instance, I just watched The Back-up Plan a movie where the main character goes for invitro fertilization because she wants a family and hasn't found the perfect mate. Well, the day that she goes in and just happens to get pregnant, she also meets just minutes later the man of her dreams. And the movie unfolds their story of how she tells him of her pregnancy and how they work through it together. The movie itself left me feeling lonely and sad. I think mainly because of the ending (which to most is a happy one no worries.) But I allow those types of movies to as Seth would say, emotionally manipulate me. Thats so not cool. Because the truth is that I'm loved by the creator of romance. Jesus Christ himself. I'm not really sure where this blog is going other than its time to allow the Holy Spirit to do the work that has already been stirred up in me and correct my allowance of emotional manipulation, and if I'm finding a movie/tv show that is doing that to me...maybe I just need to start walking away or turning it off. Cause really, that movie brought no glory to God so why did I finish it anyway?! huh...oh well.

On another note...I had the most fantastic weekend in Wisconsin with Kati, Gregg and Ryan! Heres a picture of Ryan and I at the apple orchard that he, Kati and I went to while Gregg was at work!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5357727&l=f373d1b544&id=656097092

Introducing...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4960518&l=838f80ff12&id=656097092 (this is a link to a picture of Ryan and I)

My someone special...

For any of my readers out here that don't know yet, I've met an amazing man of God, that our Lord and Savior has graciously blessed us with a relationship. This is Ryan...he's amazing and everything and more I could have ever prayed for in a Godly boyfriend. We've been together now just under a week, and are really enjoying our time together on the phone.

I know its been a little while since I last posted, I've begun a few nanny jobs and by the time I make it home I'm wiped out, so I grab dinner, hang with Kati talk to Ryan on the phone and then its off to bed. But in the hard work God is blessing me abundantly, with two wonderful families to be working for, amazing children that I've already grown to love, and income that is becoming rather comparable to what I was making before the daycare shut down. Not too bad if I do say so myself! I love these children. A is 15 months and I have her 3 days a week, L is 4 and her older brother S is 9? L & S are siblings and I have them at least once a week now. A will be a big sister soon and I eagerly await the day that I get to meet her lil brother who will be in my care as well. Until then I take as much one-on-one time as I can with A to really get to know her and let her know how cherished she is! I'm sure there will be lots of changes when brother arrives.

I guess thats a snapshot update of whats going on in my little world...ohh...WAIT...did I mention I have a roomie now?!? Kati moved in!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE all the time I get to spend with her. I couldn't be blessed enough to have her as a biological sister, but I am blessed to be her cousin and most importantly her sister in Christ. I love her dearly!!

I hope you're all well!! Drop me a note sometime so I know I'm not out here writing to myself! God Bless!!

Your Grace Is Enough...

This past week I learned a lot more about Grace than I could have ever imagined. As a special someone and I have been growing closer and getting to know eachother more we have been talking together about how important grace is to our daily walk together and just in life in general. Without it, theres no hope of a "successful" relationship, whether just a friendship or a dating relationship. And then, as the week went on, we got to experience just as beautiful grace is. We shared in detail what all of our past entails and as we shared we listened to eachother with open hearts and open minds. As one was vulnerable sharing things we're not exactly proud of, I noticed that we each took turns exhibiting grace to one another. It was beautiful. There was no judgement on either side of the conversation, just understanding and grace. It was that thought that lead me to think on just how many times we not only tell God things that would in our minds let us down, but also do things that are not Christ-like and we think would upset Him...but thats not the case. See when we are saved by grace through faith, the Father only sees us as clean as Christ. He sees what Christ did on the cross for us, and because of that sacrifice all God sees is us clean as snow...and for that grace as I'm seeing it in the human form (which doesn't compare to the way that God sees us) I'm amazed, I stand in awe, and I rejoice to the Father...YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME!

The icing on my cake.

Its no secret the past few weeks/past month have been rough on me. And yet through it all I feel like I've been so richly blessed. I learned at the very beginning of my trial that my community group would ever so quickly rally around me with prayer, support and most importantly love. It was amazing the responses I'd get when I'd sent out a text message call for prayer and help. I grew closer to some through it, Ryan in particular. And I saw more of God's character as I tried so desperately to cling to Him to pull me through. It wasn't until I finally let go of all of my anxieties and fears and fully surrendered all of the situation to God did the blessings start to downpour. And I mean that most literally. It started with my icing. And then came the cake financial help (monetarily and in the form of advice), then a job, then more added to my new job which would provide even more income. So for now I'm taking time off of school to be a Nanny and I couldn't be happier. I sought counsel on it from 3 of my closest friends/family members and they all three gave the same advice, take the job. So I did! Starting Monday I'll be watching a very sweet little girl...and I couldn't be more excited!! As for now, I'm enjoying the blessings that God so richly poured down on me as I walk even more faithfully in His ways.

Thank you Father for the blessings you give!

Psalm 145

Great Is the LORD

A Song of Praise. Of David.

I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD,
and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.


[The LORD is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]
The LORD upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Soaring With Wings Like An Eagle

I went for a run the other day. My thoughts were racing as we found out what was to happen at the daycare. We were shutting the doors forever, I'd be without a job. I was so confused and thought after thought raced through me and held my mind captive, I couldn't sit still. So I changed and went running, it was instant that my head cleared. It was there that I could control my mind as I controlled my breathing. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, save me, on and on I'd repeat that until He did. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, provide for me, turned into step, breath, He will, step, breath, Provide for me. By now I had made it over to the pool and I was speaking truths aloud; step, breath, "I am His" step, breath, "He is mine" step, breath, "He will" step, breath, "Never leave me." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "trust You." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "fly on" step breath "wings like eagles. I am a child of the King. He will carry me in the palm of His hand. I don't have to do this on my own, better yet, I don't have to do this at all. He will do this." step, breath, "I surrender", step, breath,"all to You." By now I was at Davenport and this cute little blonde starts running barefoot with me, calling out calories burned "500,....1000" I couldn't help laughing and talking to her. Her name was Melissa. I thanked God for her, a block later we parted, my strength renewed, I finished myrun and was great for most of the rest of the night. Melissa was my small light in the midst of a dark night. How often we over look the small lights until we are desperate for them. Thank-you God for the little lights!

Trusting God

"God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to. " Elisabeth Elliot

This is where I am today...constantly reminding myself that I trust Him...there's so much uncertainty in my life right now, but the one thing I am surely certain of is how vast, how wide, how deep, how long, is the love of my Savior. He will bring me through this, He will bring me through everything until I'm finally face to the floor in front of His Holy presence...until that day I continue to lay my life down at the foot of the cross...trusting Him to carry me through this dark, scary and petrifying time.

The love of a brother...

I'd like to introduce you to the men that I call my brothers...

This is Allen


This is Chris & Seth

This is Gregg and Ryan.

And this is John, he's my brother by DNA & the blood of Christ.

The love of a brother encompasses a love like none other. You see only the last picture is what most would call my "real" brother. I beg to differ, the only difference between my biological brother, John, and the other men up above and the countless other brothers I have is just that, John and I share the DNA of our biological parents. My other brothers and I share the saving blood of Jesus Christ. They protect me just as John does, they lead, guide, counsel, encourage, and tease just like John does. God has really grown a deep love and respect in me for these amazing men of faith. And everyday I thank God for putting such God fearing men into my life as leaders, I am so blessed.

The love of a brother bears the burden of being the spiritual leader of his single sisters that God has entrusted him.
The love of a brother bears the burden of being the protector of his sisters.
The love of a brother bears the burden of encouraging his sisters.
The love of a brother bears the burden of counseling his sisters.
The love of a brother sees not that any of this is a burden, but willingly does it because of his love.
The love of a brother comes in the form of a stranger, grows in the form of a friend, and walks faithfully into eternity with his fellow brothers and sisters along side him.

Jesus, thank-you for placing such amazing Godly men into my life that can walk this narrow path along side of me as I work to spread Your good news. Give me the love of a sister to encourage these men, to care for these men, to nurture them, to challenge them, to support them, and most of all strength to just walk along side of them. Thank-you for the countless blessings you bestow upon us even when it takes everything we have to see your blessings, thank-you for blessing us just the same. You're moving in ways we could never have imagined or dreamed, and for that I am thankful, Father, keep moving in us, growing us, and preparing us for your Kingdom. Your will be done in all of our lives, may we never lose sight of your perfect ways. I praise you Father! Amen.

Relying on whom??? ummm...come again?!?!

Today was a whirlwind if ever I've had one. Work went decent, I made chili mac for lunch...yuck! I've never been a fan of that stuff even when they made it for us in the Army. But then I found out something that sent me instantly reliving a terrible part of my past that God did use to bring me to Him, but it was hard none the less. The circumstance isn't important, what is important is the heart work that God is doing in me. You see that issue showed me some very important things in my heart I didn't even realize were there. I was so shaken with fear that I bawled my eyes out quite a bit. Not good! So I tried to call my bestie Beth, but she didn't answer (she was still at work). So I called my buddy Allen, he didn't answer at first but then when he called me back he got frustrated because he felt like he wasn't giving me good enough answers (Allen, if you're out there in my reader land...you did great!) So that left me shook up and searching for comfort...get where I'm going here? Well, then I turned to my friends Gregg and Ryan, hoping they'd come over so we could talk it out, no such luck, they weren't due over until an hour later. So I left Kati, my bestie cousin, whom was trying to talk to me the whole time. To go home to get into my bible. Finally...comfort! I've been digging into Psalm 37 alot this week working on my anger, and I found that an amazing starting point. So I just kept going psalm after psalm, until I fell asleep...when I woke up I read some more, and fell asleep again. When I woke up to Gregg's phone call, I woke up feeling refreshed.

I guess I have some more heart work to do. My first process should have been turning to my bible instead of all of my friends for comfort...sure, we're a gospel centered community and they can help build me up, but God is the only one who can truly comfort me the way I yearn and desire. I also need to work on relying fully on God even for the hard stuff that comes my way. I know that He has brought me through incredible trials before and He will bring me through many more. But, I have to do my part in turning to and giving my all to Him...worries, anxieties, trials, loved ones included. It sounds silly but its hard for me to do that. I'd rather take care of everyone and everything myself. And yet, God is so much more powerful than I am, and it'd make my life a whole lot easier and less stressful if only I'd step back, submit and hand all of my fears over to the creator of the universe, and lover of my soul.

Father God, How quickly I turned to sin when the waters started to turn on me. Forgive me Lord. Help me to turn and give all that I have, all that I am, every trial, every burden, every joy, every sorrow, every one that I hold dear over to you. I thank you for helping me see my heart issues that need work. How amazing is your love for me, that I can't only fathom it in my head but also in my heart. Father, continue to draw me into your arms, no matter what it takes to get me there. I'm falling even more in love with you, and I thank-you for investing Your time and Your energy on me, your treasured posession. Amen

What are you doing this week to remind your self that you truly are His Treasured Posession??

Hands

Boy did my hands take a beating today. As I was driving home from work today I finally felt the cut, blister, and burns that encompass my hands. All from doing the work I love, preparing and serving meals to those I work with and the children I work for. The facts of how I got the injuries aren't important, but...what does matter is where my thoughts went next. Years ago I had a devotional book on feet, each day's devotion was 15 minutes long and included a foot massage pretty awesome. Each day I read new scripture involving the importance of feet and reminded me that I should give thanks to God for the feet He provided me with.

I found myself asking, how often do we praise God for our hands? The hands that allow us to raise up praise to the King, for the psalm 47 says,
"God Is King over All the Earth
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!" The same hands that allow us to work to provide for ourselves and our family. The hands that extend to greet others, the hands that feed us, the hands that help us drink. I don't know that I've ever thanked God for the hands he's blessed me with. My hands that allow me to reach out to my nephew and niece and embrace them. My hands that hold them safely as I snuggle them. My hands that allow me to provide food to 100 people every day. My hands that feed me goldfish as I type. Thank-you Father for the wonderment of my hands. Thank-you that despite the blister, the burns, the cuts my hands will still function. May I never forget that You gave me these hands, you fashioned these hands in your hands. Thank-you father, for your hands...your hands that took the nails and were pierced for my sins. Your hands that hold me still as I struggle and stumble to grow closer to you. Amen.

"So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands." Psalm 63:4

Jitters...

So, its finally hit me that I am days away from running a monumental race in my life. I'm running a 5k and to most its nothing, but to me it only solidifies what my head is telling me (that I can't make it and I'm too fat) is a lie. About 4 years ago I started feeling the pain in my neck, and it was 4 years ago that I was told no more running and that I'd probably never be able to fully run again because of the pain in my neck...and its now, 4 years later that I'm setting out to run more than a pt test of 2 miles, I'm going to be running 3.1 miles.

I'm not looking to break records or score a place, I'm just looking to run and not stop, no matter how slow I go...so if you're in town and you know me personally, cheer me on, or encourage me as you pass by...because most of you probably will pass me by, and thats ok. This is my first of hopefully many as I slim back down and fall back madly in love with running!

I'll see you there.

Oh how time flies and things change...

It's been awhile since I've updated, I'm so sorry followers! Life has gotten flipped upside and turned over completely different and I'm still trying to figure out where I am now :-) By God's grace I'm better than when I started but I'm completely feeling the growing pains as God breaks me and molds me back up into the woman He's creating me to be. I'm sure you're wondering what all I've been up to so here we go:

+ God has really been stirring in me to be single and to REALLY be single so I've handed over my idol of men and am learning what it means to truly be single.

+ I've been asked to be a break out leader for my bible study as we've transitioned to having a womens and mens group once a week to dig deeper into our study and eachother's lives. We call them squads so you may here me talking about my squad,that is what I'm referring to.

+ I'm starting to finally get a hold of my finances after a lot of struggling to make ends meet, and have fallen behind on too many important responsibilites to pay for.

+ I graduated my class of 12 preschoolers and then took the chance to leave the classroom for a bit and was named the new head chef of the daycare...I feed anywhere from 80-120 children/teachers and have been in the position for about a week and a half now and LOVE it!!

+ My niece Addison turned 1 and my nephew turned 3...what a fun party we had for them both and my brother & sister-in-law gave me the honor of creating and providing the birthday cakes for each of the kids and cupcakes for all of the guests, it was such a blessing! I made a small turtle cake for Addison and Kati & Beth helped create the giant "Mater" cupcake for Jackson! The kids loved both the cakes and I got lots of compliments on all of the goodies.

+ I've begun a workout routine with my squad every other day and am tracking my weight loss, and my goal weight is 149...my starting weight was 201. Tuesday will be our first weigh-in...praying I get good positive results!!

+ Im looking forward to a 5k run here in town, Brett's Run...this is the first time I've run that far since Korea when I was permitted to run in formation.I'm really excited to conquer this demon and become a runner again! I'm enjoying working up to it.

I think thats just about everything for now. I hope and pray you all are well!

God Bless you now and always.

The Words I Would Say

I'm listening to my Contemporary Christian music channel...and this song is on right now. Its talking about writing a letter to someone who isn't near...but it also reminds me of a country song where the author wants to write a letter to a younger version of them self...well, right now, I wanna write a letter to me. I'm going through some things right now that has left me so confused and broken that maybe this is a way I can talk some sense in myself.

"Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say," --The Words I Would Say by: Sidewalk Prophets

My Sweetheart,

I know your confused, broken, unsure of everything life has placed in front of you, don't doubt any longer. Stop letting your fears and your insecurities lead you. You're strong, but you're AMAZING when you're standing on the promises of Jesus Christ your rock...keep moving forward Em.

You Are Loved.

"When will I stop stumbling and falling???"

That's what I asked the Lord a few nights ago, as I pondered my most recent fall. I asked Him when it will be that I'll go from stumbling and tripping as a toddler to walking normal as an adult. I could almost hear the laughter. And then I got my answer...I call myself a klutz because even in my full grown "adultness", I still trip and stumble over all sorts of things. How true is that of our walk with Jesus? No matter how long we walk, how much we grow, there will always be something that will cause us to stumble...we are human, we are sinners, and because of that...we will stumble. But God is merciful, HE loves us so much...so much that even as a full grown christian, when we fall, he picks us back up and waits for us to take the first step once again. God is moving big time in my life right now, He's got some things that are coming that I feel so inadequate for. But with Christ...all things are possible. He is my source of strength, HE IS MY HOPE. No matter what may come, cancer, infertility, weight loss, debt, hunger, no matter what I'm facing now, or what I may face in the future...JESUS CHRIST IS MY ROCK, of what or whom shall I fear? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...thats what.

Maybe you didn't hear me from my last post...

Take a look at that woman right there....No, really, stop and really look at her. Look into her eyes, what do you see? Do you see the warrior that is deep in those eyes? She's there. She's so strong, it amazes me. Wave after wave of ugly will hit that woman you see there...and yet she just dips her head and keeps going forward. At the most, she's been knocked down a few times...but every time she finds herself on her knees, before the cross. And suddenly, she finds the strength to stand yet again.

So maybe, you didn't hear me from my last post...I AM A FIGHTER, JESUS IS MY FOUNDATION. I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN... GAME ON EVIL!!

Dear World...

I'm Emily. I'm strong. I'm beautiful. I'm not a quitter. I always persevere. I'm not giving in this time. I will defeat this. I will lose this weight. I will show you and myself that I can do this again, but more importantly I can do it my way this time. The right way. I won't let you influence me to make bad choices. I won't let you keep me down. Inside of me is the beautiful, healthy Emily that I know and love and see every time I look in the mirror. One day soon you will see her too.

Please remember this when you knock me down,

I will get up again, I will keep moving forward.

I WILL KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Here mousey mousey mousey.....

So, those that keep up with me on facebook and on here know that I'm having a mouse issue in the apartment. Well, I guess its more than an issue and more like an infestation, YUCK! So far as of this morning, I've caught 6 mice. yeah... :-/ gross I know. Anywho, those who are closest to me know I've been struggling quite a bit with all of it and more that have really knocked me on my butt. I've been getting some great advice from lots of people and well, today I finally asked for prayer from a friend when I found that my living room power blew the circuit. I feel like I'm living in a death trap, is what I told her. And she challenged me to watch what I say and to not even let words that tear down come out of my mouth. How right she is. At the same time I was talking to a distant cousin online whose been tracking whats going on and he also was encouraging me, and before I knew it I had typed "My God's bigger than this I'll be just fine." Where has that been? Where has my head been? From there my thoughts spiraled into the saying: Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big God is. So true isn't it? Really in the scheme of mice and power outage only in my living room, God is still good, and still seated on high. How quickly I allow circumstances to drag me down when really I should be lifting my eyes to heaven and allow God to continue to lift me up again. So I cranked up Bring The Rain by Mercy Me and I danced and worshiped and even sung arms held high at the top of my lungs...

"And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"

"Whose gonna save you now?!..."

I'm having a bad day. I was feeling down about my single hood tonight but then I discovered a little mouse scurrying about in my apartment. That Threw me into a freeze state as it tried to run into the living room and then ran back into the kitchen, I cried. And then the voices in my head started screaming "Whose gonna save you now Emily, whose gonna save you now?" I grabbed the phone, called my mom, she didn't answer, tried Ace, tried Allen, tried Joe, tried Kati...finally got a hold of mom and she brought me some mice traps. I cried more. Then Allen came over to try and see if he could find it and catch it, but no such luck. But that isn't what this post is about, its about that voice in my head. The evil one will try to get us anyway that he can...but the truth is he only gets power over our fears and anxieties when we allow it. And thats exactly what I did when I freaked out instead of turning to Jesus to take my fears away.

Whose gonna save me now?? Jesus. He already did.

Its time I take a stand for my heart

I took a stand today again for my heart, it seems like I've been doing that a lot lately. But, I'm tired of having it stepped on. Tired of having it hurt, and more than anything tired of allowing myself to go through it all. I love my Savior...my Jesus. And that's where I'm focusing my attention, on men, women, youth who love the Lord like me. I heard an older song yesterday while driving in town...I love the song and its so true to me and you and any situation you are or could ever or have ever gone through. Check it out:

A Lover's Weekend....

Oh how I've always loved Valentine's Day weekend...aside from this year. Its no secret that I'm so uncomfortable in my single hood, but I'm trying to embrace it the best that I can, with Christ's help I will over come this. I continue to seek Jesus as the Lover of my Soul. And I would say I'm progressing quite nicely, although I was feeling rather down yesterday when a friend received flowers at work...at that moment for about 5 minutes I felt sad that I'd be alone this year. But then I realized that Valentine's Day is on Sunday this year. How awesome is that?!? I can't wait for tomorrow to come so that I can be spending Valentine's day with the One that I love. My Lord and Savior...how awesome is it that this year we get to spend THE most romantic day of the year in worship...I'm rather pumped.



What are you your plans this weekend?

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A must see!

I've never been more happy to see a sale end...

than I am today! I just found out that the $1 large soda at McDonald's is now over! HOORAY! I've never been more addicted to getting my "caffein" fix than I was with their $1 drink. And let me tell you, thats a whole lotta soda to be drinking in one sitting, yet I'd down them as if they were nothing! Thank-you McDonalds for encouraging my diet and stopping one of my temptations to spoil it! Soon, I won't "need" cokes as my energy will be so up that I won't feel the need to splurge every now and then on some caffein! WOOHOO!!!

My heart is so heavy today, it must be time to worship...

I've had a very humbling day today...I had to ask for help which is so hard for me to do. I want so badly to provide for myself and succeed in doing so, and today I found myself up against the wall with no where else to turn but to reach out and ask for help. My need was met, Thank you Jesus. But yet it still leaves me upset, sad that I'm still being hit in the face by myself for my life not turning out the way I wanted it too. In highschool, everyone focused on what was to come when we busted out of those doors, not me...I just lived day to day loving my life as a high schooler, I figured everything would just fall into place after I got my diploma...yet today I still find myself trying to find a purpose, where to go with my life. I dont know where God is calling me, so for now I will continue to serve where he has placed me...with the children that I love. I will be volunteering to serve at church and I'll be praying that God reveals it all to me from there. What I do know is through this hard time in life, I will praise Him!



I'm feeling bound, Jesus "take the shackles off my feet so I can dance...I JUST WANT TO PRAISE YOU!"



"Nobody told me the road would be easy, and I dont believe He's brought me this far to leave me."



Thank-you Lord for all that you've done, and yet to do.