Today was a whirlwind if ever I've had one. Work went decent, I made chili mac for lunch...yuck! I've never been a fan of that stuff even when they made it for us in the Army. But then I found out something that sent me instantly reliving a terrible part of my past that God did use to bring me to Him, but it was hard none the less. The circumstance isn't important, what is important is the heart work that God is doing in me. You see that issue showed me some very important things in my heart I didn't even realize were there. I was so shaken with fear that I bawled my eyes out quite a bit. Not good! So I tried to call my bestie Beth, but she didn't answer (she was still at work). So I called my buddy Allen, he didn't answer at first but then when he called me back he got frustrated because he felt like he wasn't giving me good enough answers (Allen, if you're out there in my reader land...you did great!) So that left me shook up and searching for comfort...get where I'm going here? Well, then I turned to my friends Gregg and Ryan, hoping they'd come over so we could talk it out, no such luck, they weren't due over until an hour later. So I left Kati, my bestie cousin, whom was trying to talk to me the whole time. To go home to get into my bible. Finally...comfort! I've been digging into Psalm 37 alot this week working on my anger, and I found that an amazing starting point. So I just kept going psalm after psalm, until I fell asleep...when I woke up I read some more, and fell asleep again. When I woke up to Gregg's phone call, I woke up feeling refreshed.
I guess I have some more heart work to do. My first process should have been turning to my bible instead of all of my friends for comfort...sure, we're a gospel centered community and they can help build me up, but God is the only one who can truly comfort me the way I yearn and desire. I also need to work on relying fully on God even for the hard stuff that comes my way. I know that He has brought me through incredible trials before and He will bring me through many more. But, I have to do my part in turning to and giving my all to Him...worries, anxieties, trials, loved ones included. It sounds silly but its hard for me to do that. I'd rather take care of everyone and everything myself. And yet, God is so much more powerful than I am, and it'd make my life a whole lot easier and less stressful if only I'd step back, submit and hand all of my fears over to the creator of the universe, and lover of my soul.
Father God, How quickly I turned to sin when the waters started to turn on me. Forgive me Lord. Help me to turn and give all that I have, all that I am, every trial, every burden, every joy, every sorrow, every one that I hold dear over to you. I thank you for helping me see my heart issues that need work. How amazing is your love for me, that I can't only fathom it in my head but also in my heart. Father, continue to draw me into your arms, no matter what it takes to get me there. I'm falling even more in love with you, and I thank-you for investing Your time and Your energy on me, your treasured posession. Amen
What are you doing this week to remind your self that you truly are His Treasured Posession??
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