Introducing...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4960518&l=838f80ff12&id=656097092 (this is a link to a picture of Ryan and I)

My someone special...

For any of my readers out here that don't know yet, I've met an amazing man of God, that our Lord and Savior has graciously blessed us with a relationship. This is Ryan...he's amazing and everything and more I could have ever prayed for in a Godly boyfriend. We've been together now just under a week, and are really enjoying our time together on the phone.

I know its been a little while since I last posted, I've begun a few nanny jobs and by the time I make it home I'm wiped out, so I grab dinner, hang with Kati talk to Ryan on the phone and then its off to bed. But in the hard work God is blessing me abundantly, with two wonderful families to be working for, amazing children that I've already grown to love, and income that is becoming rather comparable to what I was making before the daycare shut down. Not too bad if I do say so myself! I love these children. A is 15 months and I have her 3 days a week, L is 4 and her older brother S is 9? L & S are siblings and I have them at least once a week now. A will be a big sister soon and I eagerly await the day that I get to meet her lil brother who will be in my care as well. Until then I take as much one-on-one time as I can with A to really get to know her and let her know how cherished she is! I'm sure there will be lots of changes when brother arrives.

I guess thats a snapshot update of whats going on in my little world...ohh...WAIT...did I mention I have a roomie now?!? Kati moved in!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE all the time I get to spend with her. I couldn't be blessed enough to have her as a biological sister, but I am blessed to be her cousin and most importantly her sister in Christ. I love her dearly!!

I hope you're all well!! Drop me a note sometime so I know I'm not out here writing to myself! God Bless!!

Your Grace Is Enough...

This past week I learned a lot more about Grace than I could have ever imagined. As a special someone and I have been growing closer and getting to know eachother more we have been talking together about how important grace is to our daily walk together and just in life in general. Without it, theres no hope of a "successful" relationship, whether just a friendship or a dating relationship. And then, as the week went on, we got to experience just as beautiful grace is. We shared in detail what all of our past entails and as we shared we listened to eachother with open hearts and open minds. As one was vulnerable sharing things we're not exactly proud of, I noticed that we each took turns exhibiting grace to one another. It was beautiful. There was no judgement on either side of the conversation, just understanding and grace. It was that thought that lead me to think on just how many times we not only tell God things that would in our minds let us down, but also do things that are not Christ-like and we think would upset Him...but thats not the case. See when we are saved by grace through faith, the Father only sees us as clean as Christ. He sees what Christ did on the cross for us, and because of that sacrifice all God sees is us clean as snow...and for that grace as I'm seeing it in the human form (which doesn't compare to the way that God sees us) I'm amazed, I stand in awe, and I rejoice to the Father...YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME!

The icing on my cake.

Its no secret the past few weeks/past month have been rough on me. And yet through it all I feel like I've been so richly blessed. I learned at the very beginning of my trial that my community group would ever so quickly rally around me with prayer, support and most importantly love. It was amazing the responses I'd get when I'd sent out a text message call for prayer and help. I grew closer to some through it, Ryan in particular. And I saw more of God's character as I tried so desperately to cling to Him to pull me through. It wasn't until I finally let go of all of my anxieties and fears and fully surrendered all of the situation to God did the blessings start to downpour. And I mean that most literally. It started with my icing. And then came the cake financial help (monetarily and in the form of advice), then a job, then more added to my new job which would provide even more income. So for now I'm taking time off of school to be a Nanny and I couldn't be happier. I sought counsel on it from 3 of my closest friends/family members and they all three gave the same advice, take the job. So I did! Starting Monday I'll be watching a very sweet little girl...and I couldn't be more excited!! As for now, I'm enjoying the blessings that God so richly poured down on me as I walk even more faithfully in His ways.

Thank you Father for the blessings you give!

Psalm 145

Great Is the LORD

A Song of Praise. Of David.

I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD,
and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.


[The LORD is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]
The LORD upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Soaring With Wings Like An Eagle

I went for a run the other day. My thoughts were racing as we found out what was to happen at the daycare. We were shutting the doors forever, I'd be without a job. I was so confused and thought after thought raced through me and held my mind captive, I couldn't sit still. So I changed and went running, it was instant that my head cleared. It was there that I could control my mind as I controlled my breathing. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, save me, on and on I'd repeat that until He did. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, provide for me, turned into step, breath, He will, step, breath, Provide for me. By now I had made it over to the pool and I was speaking truths aloud; step, breath, "I am His" step, breath, "He is mine" step, breath, "He will" step, breath, "Never leave me." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "trust You." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "fly on" step breath "wings like eagles. I am a child of the King. He will carry me in the palm of His hand. I don't have to do this on my own, better yet, I don't have to do this at all. He will do this." step, breath, "I surrender", step, breath,"all to You." By now I was at Davenport and this cute little blonde starts running barefoot with me, calling out calories burned "500,....1000" I couldn't help laughing and talking to her. Her name was Melissa. I thanked God for her, a block later we parted, my strength renewed, I finished myrun and was great for most of the rest of the night. Melissa was my small light in the midst of a dark night. How often we over look the small lights until we are desperate for them. Thank-you God for the little lights!

Trusting God

"God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to. " Elisabeth Elliot

This is where I am today...constantly reminding myself that I trust Him...there's so much uncertainty in my life right now, but the one thing I am surely certain of is how vast, how wide, how deep, how long, is the love of my Savior. He will bring me through this, He will bring me through everything until I'm finally face to the floor in front of His Holy presence...until that day I continue to lay my life down at the foot of the cross...trusting Him to carry me through this dark, scary and petrifying time.

The love of a brother...

I'd like to introduce you to the men that I call my brothers...

This is Allen


This is Chris & Seth

This is Gregg and Ryan.

And this is John, he's my brother by DNA & the blood of Christ.

The love of a brother encompasses a love like none other. You see only the last picture is what most would call my "real" brother. I beg to differ, the only difference between my biological brother, John, and the other men up above and the countless other brothers I have is just that, John and I share the DNA of our biological parents. My other brothers and I share the saving blood of Jesus Christ. They protect me just as John does, they lead, guide, counsel, encourage, and tease just like John does. God has really grown a deep love and respect in me for these amazing men of faith. And everyday I thank God for putting such God fearing men into my life as leaders, I am so blessed.

The love of a brother bears the burden of being the spiritual leader of his single sisters that God has entrusted him.
The love of a brother bears the burden of being the protector of his sisters.
The love of a brother bears the burden of encouraging his sisters.
The love of a brother bears the burden of counseling his sisters.
The love of a brother sees not that any of this is a burden, but willingly does it because of his love.
The love of a brother comes in the form of a stranger, grows in the form of a friend, and walks faithfully into eternity with his fellow brothers and sisters along side him.

Jesus, thank-you for placing such amazing Godly men into my life that can walk this narrow path along side of me as I work to spread Your good news. Give me the love of a sister to encourage these men, to care for these men, to nurture them, to challenge them, to support them, and most of all strength to just walk along side of them. Thank-you for the countless blessings you bestow upon us even when it takes everything we have to see your blessings, thank-you for blessing us just the same. You're moving in ways we could never have imagined or dreamed, and for that I am thankful, Father, keep moving in us, growing us, and preparing us for your Kingdom. Your will be done in all of our lives, may we never lose sight of your perfect ways. I praise you Father! Amen.

Relying on whom??? ummm...come again?!?!

Today was a whirlwind if ever I've had one. Work went decent, I made chili mac for lunch...yuck! I've never been a fan of that stuff even when they made it for us in the Army. But then I found out something that sent me instantly reliving a terrible part of my past that God did use to bring me to Him, but it was hard none the less. The circumstance isn't important, what is important is the heart work that God is doing in me. You see that issue showed me some very important things in my heart I didn't even realize were there. I was so shaken with fear that I bawled my eyes out quite a bit. Not good! So I tried to call my bestie Beth, but she didn't answer (she was still at work). So I called my buddy Allen, he didn't answer at first but then when he called me back he got frustrated because he felt like he wasn't giving me good enough answers (Allen, if you're out there in my reader land...you did great!) So that left me shook up and searching for comfort...get where I'm going here? Well, then I turned to my friends Gregg and Ryan, hoping they'd come over so we could talk it out, no such luck, they weren't due over until an hour later. So I left Kati, my bestie cousin, whom was trying to talk to me the whole time. To go home to get into my bible. Finally...comfort! I've been digging into Psalm 37 alot this week working on my anger, and I found that an amazing starting point. So I just kept going psalm after psalm, until I fell asleep...when I woke up I read some more, and fell asleep again. When I woke up to Gregg's phone call, I woke up feeling refreshed.

I guess I have some more heart work to do. My first process should have been turning to my bible instead of all of my friends for comfort...sure, we're a gospel centered community and they can help build me up, but God is the only one who can truly comfort me the way I yearn and desire. I also need to work on relying fully on God even for the hard stuff that comes my way. I know that He has brought me through incredible trials before and He will bring me through many more. But, I have to do my part in turning to and giving my all to Him...worries, anxieties, trials, loved ones included. It sounds silly but its hard for me to do that. I'd rather take care of everyone and everything myself. And yet, God is so much more powerful than I am, and it'd make my life a whole lot easier and less stressful if only I'd step back, submit and hand all of my fears over to the creator of the universe, and lover of my soul.

Father God, How quickly I turned to sin when the waters started to turn on me. Forgive me Lord. Help me to turn and give all that I have, all that I am, every trial, every burden, every joy, every sorrow, every one that I hold dear over to you. I thank you for helping me see my heart issues that need work. How amazing is your love for me, that I can't only fathom it in my head but also in my heart. Father, continue to draw me into your arms, no matter what it takes to get me there. I'm falling even more in love with you, and I thank-you for investing Your time and Your energy on me, your treasured posession. Amen

What are you doing this week to remind your self that you truly are His Treasured Posession??