The dark just gets darker

Our sermon title today was something along those lines. How true it is today for me. I have "Hold Me Jesus" by Big Daddy Weave on repeat. Cause that's all I can cry out right now is for Jesus to hold me. Everything doesn't make sense to me. My boyfriend felt the Holy Spirit guiding him out of our relationship. I honor him in that decision, but at the same the Holy Spirit is prompting me that we could have been redeemed. I told him that and his response was that God in His sovereignty doesn't always redeem everything. I'm clinging to Jesus now as I feel so lost. Which scares me. I feel out of control, and I hate feeling out of control. I prayed that God would break my heart and transform me. I just never saw Him taking Ryan from me. I love Ryan so dearly. I haven't felt this kind of heartache since I was in Korea. That fact alone scares the tar out of me, as I went to such a low state of mind and emotion I don't ever want to return to that. So for now, I'm going to choose a path that is further from the path I took in Korea. I'm going to cling ever so tightly to my Savior, who even though I can't see it, has a better plan for me and my life. I just pray that He heals my broken heart and draws me even more closer to Him.  "You have been King of my glory, COME AND BE MY PRINCE PEACE...LORD YOU ARE THE PRINCE OF PEACE!" Big Daddy Weave