Its that time of year again...

November is here and its time to practice thankfulness...so here we go...a week late but better late than never right?!?

Today I find myself overwhelmingly thankful for my mom!



Boy did she drop everything to help me out in a pinch! I've been working with someone to get some really big furniture out of my former apartment and into hands that could be blessed by it. Well it worked out last minute this afternoon that it could be picked up! With me at work with both families today it was impossible for me to be around, so mom dropped everything this afternoon and spent hours at the apartment, sweeping and helping prepare and hand over all that was taken!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM!!! Today, my gratitude is for you and everything you drop to go out of your way to help me out. I'm so grateful.

Can you say, "Help Please?!"

Those are the two words I find myself repeating the majority of my days that I'm working with the toddler I watch (I'll call her A.) She's 16 months old and instead of asking for help will try and try and try and get frustrated in the midst of her trying and start whining/screaming/crying or any combination of those three. I'll walk over to her, help her and in the midst of is say, "A can you say Help Please...Help Please" She isn't fully talking yet so I don't expect it but I feel like if I keep feeding her the words eventually she'll get it. Its a different story when I'm around my 3 year old nephew. He will ask for help in heartbeat. "Meme, you please help me??" What a sweet innocent voice, how can I not.

I'm such a fool sometimes. Let me start there. Or maybe even a hypocrite. That wouldn't be far from the truth. I'm trying to teach A to ask for help and I encourage Jackson to ask for it, but when it comes to my own life I have such a difficult time asking for help. I'm at a new place in life where yesterday I had to completely humble myself and repeatedly tell the ones that I love so dearly that I didn't ask for help and now I'm so far down the path that all I can do is go back and try to slowly undo the damage I've done. I'm moving home with my mom to get myself out of this monetary hole I've dug. And while I've had attempts to help pay my debts I feel its best that I go back, have fewer bills and get myself back to a debt free state of life. Its hard to ask for help, but I'm finding comfort in the following verse,

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4

If I would only humble myself so easily as Jackson does, I'd be following this path. That's my goal right now, to get back to a humble state as a child where I'm not afraid to say, "Help me please" and allow someone to assist me. Its time to stop being prideful and attempting to do this on my own. I'm accepting my mothers help of allowing me to move in and teach me not only to make a budget but to live on one. I'm really excited and I know only glory to God lies in front of me. I'd be so lost without the cross and the saving grace that Jesus gives. I'm ever grateful for His sacrifice.

Lost in the media...

I've really been paying attention to my habits when it comes to tv lately. And what I'm noticing about me scares me alittle. I've found that I am capable of getting so sucked into tv/movies, that I allow it to affect me to the core. For instance, I just watched The Back-up Plan a movie where the main character goes for invitro fertilization because she wants a family and hasn't found the perfect mate. Well, the day that she goes in and just happens to get pregnant, she also meets just minutes later the man of her dreams. And the movie unfolds their story of how she tells him of her pregnancy and how they work through it together. The movie itself left me feeling lonely and sad. I think mainly because of the ending (which to most is a happy one no worries.) But I allow those types of movies to as Seth would say, emotionally manipulate me. Thats so not cool. Because the truth is that I'm loved by the creator of romance. Jesus Christ himself. I'm not really sure where this blog is going other than its time to allow the Holy Spirit to do the work that has already been stirred up in me and correct my allowance of emotional manipulation, and if I'm finding a movie/tv show that is doing that to me...maybe I just need to start walking away or turning it off. Cause really, that movie brought no glory to God so why did I finish it anyway?! huh...oh well.

On another note...I had the most fantastic weekend in Wisconsin with Kati, Gregg and Ryan! Heres a picture of Ryan and I at the apple orchard that he, Kati and I went to while Gregg was at work!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5357727&l=f373d1b544&id=656097092

Introducing...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4960518&l=838f80ff12&id=656097092 (this is a link to a picture of Ryan and I)

My someone special...

For any of my readers out here that don't know yet, I've met an amazing man of God, that our Lord and Savior has graciously blessed us with a relationship. This is Ryan...he's amazing and everything and more I could have ever prayed for in a Godly boyfriend. We've been together now just under a week, and are really enjoying our time together on the phone.

I know its been a little while since I last posted, I've begun a few nanny jobs and by the time I make it home I'm wiped out, so I grab dinner, hang with Kati talk to Ryan on the phone and then its off to bed. But in the hard work God is blessing me abundantly, with two wonderful families to be working for, amazing children that I've already grown to love, and income that is becoming rather comparable to what I was making before the daycare shut down. Not too bad if I do say so myself! I love these children. A is 15 months and I have her 3 days a week, L is 4 and her older brother S is 9? L & S are siblings and I have them at least once a week now. A will be a big sister soon and I eagerly await the day that I get to meet her lil brother who will be in my care as well. Until then I take as much one-on-one time as I can with A to really get to know her and let her know how cherished she is! I'm sure there will be lots of changes when brother arrives.

I guess thats a snapshot update of whats going on in my little world...ohh...WAIT...did I mention I have a roomie now?!? Kati moved in!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE all the time I get to spend with her. I couldn't be blessed enough to have her as a biological sister, but I am blessed to be her cousin and most importantly her sister in Christ. I love her dearly!!

I hope you're all well!! Drop me a note sometime so I know I'm not out here writing to myself! God Bless!!

Your Grace Is Enough...

This past week I learned a lot more about Grace than I could have ever imagined. As a special someone and I have been growing closer and getting to know eachother more we have been talking together about how important grace is to our daily walk together and just in life in general. Without it, theres no hope of a "successful" relationship, whether just a friendship or a dating relationship. And then, as the week went on, we got to experience just as beautiful grace is. We shared in detail what all of our past entails and as we shared we listened to eachother with open hearts and open minds. As one was vulnerable sharing things we're not exactly proud of, I noticed that we each took turns exhibiting grace to one another. It was beautiful. There was no judgement on either side of the conversation, just understanding and grace. It was that thought that lead me to think on just how many times we not only tell God things that would in our minds let us down, but also do things that are not Christ-like and we think would upset Him...but thats not the case. See when we are saved by grace through faith, the Father only sees us as clean as Christ. He sees what Christ did on the cross for us, and because of that sacrifice all God sees is us clean as snow...and for that grace as I'm seeing it in the human form (which doesn't compare to the way that God sees us) I'm amazed, I stand in awe, and I rejoice to the Father...YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME!

The icing on my cake.

Its no secret the past few weeks/past month have been rough on me. And yet through it all I feel like I've been so richly blessed. I learned at the very beginning of my trial that my community group would ever so quickly rally around me with prayer, support and most importantly love. It was amazing the responses I'd get when I'd sent out a text message call for prayer and help. I grew closer to some through it, Ryan in particular. And I saw more of God's character as I tried so desperately to cling to Him to pull me through. It wasn't until I finally let go of all of my anxieties and fears and fully surrendered all of the situation to God did the blessings start to downpour. And I mean that most literally. It started with my icing. And then came the cake financial help (monetarily and in the form of advice), then a job, then more added to my new job which would provide even more income. So for now I'm taking time off of school to be a Nanny and I couldn't be happier. I sought counsel on it from 3 of my closest friends/family members and they all three gave the same advice, take the job. So I did! Starting Monday I'll be watching a very sweet little girl...and I couldn't be more excited!! As for now, I'm enjoying the blessings that God so richly poured down on me as I walk even more faithfully in His ways.

Thank you Father for the blessings you give!

Psalm 145

Great Is the LORD

A Song of Praise. Of David.

I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD,
and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.


[The LORD is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]
The LORD upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Soaring With Wings Like An Eagle

I went for a run the other day. My thoughts were racing as we found out what was to happen at the daycare. We were shutting the doors forever, I'd be without a job. I was so confused and thought after thought raced through me and held my mind captive, I couldn't sit still. So I changed and went running, it was instant that my head cleared. It was there that I could control my mind as I controlled my breathing. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, save me, on and on I'd repeat that until He did. step, breath, Jesus, step, breath, provide for me, turned into step, breath, He will, step, breath, Provide for me. By now I had made it over to the pool and I was speaking truths aloud; step, breath, "I am His" step, breath, "He is mine" step, breath, "He will" step, breath, "Never leave me." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "trust You." step, breath, "I will" step, breath, "fly on" step breath "wings like eagles. I am a child of the King. He will carry me in the palm of His hand. I don't have to do this on my own, better yet, I don't have to do this at all. He will do this." step, breath, "I surrender", step, breath,"all to You." By now I was at Davenport and this cute little blonde starts running barefoot with me, calling out calories burned "500,....1000" I couldn't help laughing and talking to her. Her name was Melissa. I thanked God for her, a block later we parted, my strength renewed, I finished myrun and was great for most of the rest of the night. Melissa was my small light in the midst of a dark night. How often we over look the small lights until we are desperate for them. Thank-you God for the little lights!