"When will I stop stumbling and falling???"

That's what I asked the Lord a few nights ago, as I pondered my most recent fall. I asked Him when it will be that I'll go from stumbling and tripping as a toddler to walking normal as an adult. I could almost hear the laughter. And then I got my answer...I call myself a klutz because even in my full grown "adultness", I still trip and stumble over all sorts of things. How true is that of our walk with Jesus? No matter how long we walk, how much we grow, there will always be something that will cause us to stumble...we are human, we are sinners, and because of that...we will stumble. But God is merciful, HE loves us so much...so much that even as a full grown christian, when we fall, he picks us back up and waits for us to take the first step once again. God is moving big time in my life right now, He's got some things that are coming that I feel so inadequate for. But with Christ...all things are possible. He is my source of strength, HE IS MY HOPE. No matter what may come, cancer, infertility, weight loss, debt, hunger, no matter what I'm facing now, or what I may face in the future...JESUS CHRIST IS MY ROCK, of what or whom shall I fear? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...thats what.

Maybe you didn't hear me from my last post...

Take a look at that woman right there....No, really, stop and really look at her. Look into her eyes, what do you see? Do you see the warrior that is deep in those eyes? She's there. She's so strong, it amazes me. Wave after wave of ugly will hit that woman you see there...and yet she just dips her head and keeps going forward. At the most, she's been knocked down a few times...but every time she finds herself on her knees, before the cross. And suddenly, she finds the strength to stand yet again.

So maybe, you didn't hear me from my last post...I AM A FIGHTER, JESUS IS MY FOUNDATION. I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN... GAME ON EVIL!!

Dear World...

I'm Emily. I'm strong. I'm beautiful. I'm not a quitter. I always persevere. I'm not giving in this time. I will defeat this. I will lose this weight. I will show you and myself that I can do this again, but more importantly I can do it my way this time. The right way. I won't let you influence me to make bad choices. I won't let you keep me down. Inside of me is the beautiful, healthy Emily that I know and love and see every time I look in the mirror. One day soon you will see her too.

Please remember this when you knock me down,

I will get up again, I will keep moving forward.

I WILL KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Here mousey mousey mousey.....

So, those that keep up with me on facebook and on here know that I'm having a mouse issue in the apartment. Well, I guess its more than an issue and more like an infestation, YUCK! So far as of this morning, I've caught 6 mice. yeah... :-/ gross I know. Anywho, those who are closest to me know I've been struggling quite a bit with all of it and more that have really knocked me on my butt. I've been getting some great advice from lots of people and well, today I finally asked for prayer from a friend when I found that my living room power blew the circuit. I feel like I'm living in a death trap, is what I told her. And she challenged me to watch what I say and to not even let words that tear down come out of my mouth. How right she is. At the same time I was talking to a distant cousin online whose been tracking whats going on and he also was encouraging me, and before I knew it I had typed "My God's bigger than this I'll be just fine." Where has that been? Where has my head been? From there my thoughts spiraled into the saying: Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big God is. So true isn't it? Really in the scheme of mice and power outage only in my living room, God is still good, and still seated on high. How quickly I allow circumstances to drag me down when really I should be lifting my eyes to heaven and allow God to continue to lift me up again. So I cranked up Bring The Rain by Mercy Me and I danced and worshiped and even sung arms held high at the top of my lungs...

"And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"

"Whose gonna save you now?!..."

I'm having a bad day. I was feeling down about my single hood tonight but then I discovered a little mouse scurrying about in my apartment. That Threw me into a freeze state as it tried to run into the living room and then ran back into the kitchen, I cried. And then the voices in my head started screaming "Whose gonna save you now Emily, whose gonna save you now?" I grabbed the phone, called my mom, she didn't answer, tried Ace, tried Allen, tried Joe, tried Kati...finally got a hold of mom and she brought me some mice traps. I cried more. Then Allen came over to try and see if he could find it and catch it, but no such luck. But that isn't what this post is about, its about that voice in my head. The evil one will try to get us anyway that he can...but the truth is he only gets power over our fears and anxieties when we allow it. And thats exactly what I did when I freaked out instead of turning to Jesus to take my fears away.

Whose gonna save me now?? Jesus. He already did.

Its time I take a stand for my heart

I took a stand today again for my heart, it seems like I've been doing that a lot lately. But, I'm tired of having it stepped on. Tired of having it hurt, and more than anything tired of allowing myself to go through it all. I love my Savior...my Jesus. And that's where I'm focusing my attention, on men, women, youth who love the Lord like me. I heard an older song yesterday while driving in town...I love the song and its so true to me and you and any situation you are or could ever or have ever gone through. Check it out:

A Lover's Weekend....

Oh how I've always loved Valentine's Day weekend...aside from this year. Its no secret that I'm so uncomfortable in my single hood, but I'm trying to embrace it the best that I can, with Christ's help I will over come this. I continue to seek Jesus as the Lover of my Soul. And I would say I'm progressing quite nicely, although I was feeling rather down yesterday when a friend received flowers at work...at that moment for about 5 minutes I felt sad that I'd be alone this year. But then I realized that Valentine's Day is on Sunday this year. How awesome is that?!? I can't wait for tomorrow to come so that I can be spending Valentine's day with the One that I love. My Lord and Savior...how awesome is it that this year we get to spend THE most romantic day of the year in worship...I'm rather pumped.



What are you your plans this weekend?